|I'm listening 24 x 36 Oils|
I could drown in it, most days; the deluge of thoughts, ideas, images, visions, community supports and business ideas. Of course, nothing is of value until you act on it and in that respect, the flood becomes a trickle. But if you're reading this, believe me, that trickle is a growing stream, gaining speed nearly every day. Every weekend, I have plans of working "no matter what." I have a list of things I want to accomplish and tasks I want to start. Some get started, others are replaced by the "normal human things." Laundry, errands, cleaning etc are the normal things. You can't imagine the frustration of having all of this creative energy in you and not having the time or space to allow it to flow. It can get "backed up" and please believe, I KNOW the damage it can wreak on the psyche!
"If you're reading this.." if you are reading this, and have been reading my blogs for only a minute, you know I write a blog a day. I would and could write several throughout the day if time permitted, and still write test cases, talk to coworkers about health, exercise, cars and requirements! I journal sometimes as if my life depended on it; sometimes, I'm certain my sanity requires I do!
But I blinked...meaning for the sake of self-preservation, I have often said: "wait, wait, WAIT!!! I can't do anything with all of this!!!" There is a sense of being overwhelmed, feeling anxiety about the enormity of the task and the limited time available. And I pause to allow reality to gain balance (control) again. Even as I write in this moment, there is that sense of realization; something won't get written, a concept may remain untapped. And yet, for the time being I have to pause, I have to "blink," to allow me to consider the:
- Allotted time available
- Three works crowded on and around my easel - can I give them the right amount of time and energy
- The list of tasks to be completed in the house, my parents and at work
- I'm so exhausted I could try to sleep 12 hours - but rarely get 6
- Possibility that this does not make sense to you, the reader