Completion

Being whole, thorough, complete. A person who has it all and not all the trappings; someone who knows their value, appreciates the moment they live in, as they contemplate their state and strives for growing, expanding and learning. I choose that path, that "being;" it is a constant state to maintain and at moments I regress to being incomplete and lonely. Both sides exist in me. They exist in you as well.

In a given day, whether you work a job, are retired or unemployed, we rise, start the process of our day and go about completing tasks, connecting and taking care of self. Moments throughout that day, you are aware of your joys, empathy, emptiness, longing and connection to others. A phone call, lunch with a friend or family, full of laughs, regrets and filling in the facts of life; a range of ideas, emotions and sharing. And this is life. Now maybe some time spent with others is less than fulfilling. Maybe some people drain you with an endless dumping of their "issues" and not a moment to hear your state of affairs...yeah I get it. I remember one friend told me I "didn't have any problems." Really?

We are in a state of moving, growing and expanding. Perhaps it may seem best to leave somethings in your past, to abandon some ways. Perhaps. But examine your life to see if those habits and personality types appear again at some point. They just might be what makes your life...complete.

Jagged Edge

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Sometimes I feel very near that place, the spot where discomfort is dangerous, where life is in jeopardy. And yet, I'm here, now, in this place of comfort. Many times, I wonder if I like discomfort and welcome it into my life. I wonder if I put myself in places to be miserable and prefer it as opposed to comfort and joy. You know, you can make a day in paradise a day in hell!

On the edge, where you don't know whether tomorrow  will come. The place where you think all hope is lost and thoughts of tomorrow are more of the same or worse. Unfortunately, this is what we choose to make reality. Writing this blog does not make me exempt; I most assuredly struggle daily, almost minute by minute, with a sense of misery. So here we sit or stand, on the edge of what we desire above all else and what we choose to accept from life. Somehow, we think the dichotomy is a great place to set up our tent and to hang out.

There is a better place to be, a better choice for our life. It isn't a matter of "deserving" or being "destined" for either one or the other. It is a matter of choosing what is good, right, loving and beneficial. It is both self serving and serves all. It is a choice to live life to it's fullest in all it's wonder and joy. This is our primary purpose in life and to do so using our talents, emotions and love.

Nugget and Root

Triplicate

Searching

That _____

The umph and ahhh

The something-something that changes and unravels the mystery of one's life

Searching

Digging

Breaking up

Giving up

Surrendering

And trying again and again and again

Searching

Seeking

Getting advice

And venting one's soul

Replacing

Substituting

Hoping 'this' will be a reasonable replacement for 'that'

Looking in eyes

Examining hair and expressions

Hoping "he" or "she"

Will be the solution for the ache

Giving up

Settling

Disillusion becoming dis-ease in your mind body and soul

Holding a glimmer of hope

An ember buried in the dust of years of trying

Waiting for someone, something somewhere

To BE

I See Change

In many ways, I am still the skinny little boy, playing alone...

I always wanted a companion for this journey

I have one

I have always wanted to be heard

I am being heard

I loved to play as a child, creating stories in my head and acting them out with my toys

I continue to "pretend," but mostly in my head

I always wanted to "make things"

I get to Make Things

I loved to experiment and try things out, to break things or at least uncover the breakable parts

I get to do that all day

I longed for deep, intimate fellowship with God, to know HIM, the creator of all things, the one who holds "the whole world, in his hand" and to understand it all


Well, ALL OF THAT HAPPENED...or is happening

I wanted to share my stories, my adventure of growing up, living life, my joy and my pain

I get to do that in words and images, stories, adventures shared in an endless cycle

And the adventure, the childhood world of play goes on and on

The Value of One

Numbers count,

Duh!

Numbers matter

They are matter

They give value

They give weight

Measuring size

And distance

And where you are from me

And I am from her

Numbers tell us things

We use them to tell us about me

And about they guy sitting in his space 9537 kilometers away

We use numbers

Exponential numbers to indicate we should listen to this artist

Or to see this dancer

But there is a number we overlook

The one we forget about as we stumble out the door

Trying to be there by 8:10 (7:55 looks like you're trying too hard)

One

Just One

Not you and me

But One

One me

One you

One God

One ALL

Not "all" as in 2 billion people inhabiting the planet

But ONE

Sometimes...

Expectation 24 x 36 Oils

Stop

No really stop

I'm getting off

I don't care how long or what's out 'there'

Let me out

This ride has gone on way too long

And I've seen too many people I love

Crash

Burn

Get up again with the encouragement of loved ones and friends

And yet the ride remains the same

Do you hear me

Please

Just let me live my life

Without the abuse

And the pain

Let me exercise my life

With Joy

And a lot less pain

And while you're at it

Let a few others off

Let them be children

Loving life

Minus the burden of correction, punishment and misuse

Here We Go!

New format, trying something new. Except it isn't dramatically different, just a shift to the left. Power. Who has it? Do you and I and 'us' - all of us - have it? I would like to think we do and how we choose to use it is the problem and the solution. We exercise control over one another and yet we aren't really sure what we want to attain. We say we want the world to be a certain way, but don't realize there are others who want equally opposing things. So we work, talk with others who are of the same mind, trying to get the whole of society, a nation, or the world to be shaped in the vision we have for it. Except there are others who are doing the same thing, but not with the same goal in mind. And in truth, no matter how much the "group think" mentality rules, there are always those in the group who don't see things quite the way the "leader" sees it. There is a constant shifting of energy and control and the world is in a state of upheaval as a result.

Here's the other side of this equation: while we have "power" and exercise it, there is a vision for this world that exceeds - overrules - our own. Certainly, we can guide, direct exercise control over others. But there is one who has the first and final say over every life on this planet. His plan will be completed, even while we exercise our "free will." The direction He wants will be carried out, even as we go about our daily lives, doing, building, loving and hating.

What is good? What is right? What benefits all? And what is LOVE? Focus there.