Here We Go!

New format, trying something new. Except it isn't dramatically different, just a shift to the left. Power. Who has it? Do you and I and 'us' - all of us - have it? I would like to think we do and how we choose to use it is the problem and the solution. We exercise control over one another and yet we aren't really sure what we want to attain. We say we want the world to be a certain way, but don't realize there are others who want equally opposing things. So we work, talk with others who are of the same mind, trying to get the whole of society, a nation, or the world to be shaped in the vision we have for it. Except there are others who are doing the same thing, but not with the same goal in mind. And in truth, no matter how much the "group think" mentality rules, there are always those in the group who don't see things quite the way the "leader" sees it. There is a constant shifting of energy and control and the world is in a state of upheaval as a result.

Here's the other side of this equation: while we have "power" and exercise it, there is a vision for this world that exceeds - overrules - our own. Certainly, we can guide, direct exercise control over others. But there is one who has the first and final say over every life on this planet. His plan will be completed, even while we exercise our "free will." The direction He wants will be carried out, even as we go about our daily lives, doing, building, loving and hating.

What is good? What is right? What benefits all? And what is LOVE? Focus there.

Thought for The Day - Grateful

The list of blessings for which I'm grateful is ENDLESS!!! So many things, so many people and so many immaterial things to be thankful for!

I am grateful for family and friends who can't fix everything in my life; indeed they don't try. But every now and then, they put themselves in a position to offer a shoulder, an ear and to remind me how valuable life is. One of the great things that happen over the summer is my oldest son saw my excitement over his single fish and his small aquarium. He wasn't able to buy fish and an aquarium for me, but he convinced my wife that it would make a great birthday gift. Long story short, they put their heads together, researched, shopped and bought a large aquarium for me! It's beautiful! And yes, it's been a journey with many fish bought, lost and ups and downs, but it's been a great year for that!

Yesterday, my wife surprised me with another gift: a 127 pound gift: my oldest child, my miracle baby came home for the holiday! Living in New York, studying for a master's degree, things are tight. So I didn't expect to see her until Christmas. But they managed to put together the money and to keep it a secret until yesterday; my wife said she was running a quick errand for her mother and would be back. When she returned, I opened the door for her, and there stood my daughter!

Again I could go on and on, but I am so grateful for all! I'm especially grateful for friends whose lives grow and blossom. I'm grateful for people I stay in contact with and friends I haven't seen in years, coming back around.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

Thought for The Day - Life and Lessons in Death

Since the summer began, I have had an obsession with tropical fish and aquariums! My oldest son came home from college with a beautiful betta fish, he called brownie and it rekindled all my old hobby habits. I remember changing the water in my ten gallon aquarium once a month the old fashioned way. That is, I scooped out the fish and completely drained the water. I carried the tank to the sink to wash it and the rocks, WITH EACH WATER CHANGE! And I did it EACH TIME! I didn't lose fish the way I have with the modern conveniences and recommendations!

I bought a 10 gallon aquarium and filled it with Buenos Aires Tetra and Tiger Barb. It was the most fun to come in each evening and place my hand on the side of the glass and watch them swarm over to my watch my fingers! Twelve fish, swimming in close formation and playing! But them one morning, I came into my space and one of the tiger barbs was dead and stuck to the filter! Well not much loss, there were plenty of others to keep me entertained! And in the aquarium hobby, loss of fish is normal. That was earlier this week; today there are only 6 fish in the tank! An outbreak of "ich," a parasite that affects tropical fish, killed off the other fish in a little over 48 hours. Now from what I'm hearing, I wasn't proactive enough and if I'm quite honest, I didn't take any precautions at all.

An attachment is formed between people and their pets. An attachment is formed between people! Any loss of life is always a blow. This week's experience has taught me to slow the pace a bit! Take time to enjoy what's in front of me and cherish it. Whether it is pets or people, all life is valuable!

Thought for The Day - Awakening

It began quite a few years ago, probably earlier than I'm aware, but I will use this dream as a "mile-marker." I was 18 years old or so, attending school at Columbia College in Chicago. I had a writing class at the time and each week, we were to turn in a writing assignment. But also, we were expected to "tell a story" from the perspective of the world around us. It was a very rewarding class, where we were challenged to drop the precepts of "telling a story," using terms like "once upon a time," or "I see." In one of my stories, I recalled this dream.

In the dream, I am flying high! I'm up in the air, among the clouds, breathing "rare air" and reveling in my ability. But suddenly, I'm in my old neighborhood, on the west-side of Chicago. I find myself in the alley behind the apartment building owned by aunt and uncle, flying through the alley. My cousins, always playing softball in the alley, are there and when they see me, they take off after me, trying to catch me as I continue to fly, but getting lower and lower to the ground. As I fly the length of the long alley, I'm arching my back, trying to get back to the sky "where I belong." But my efforts are near wasted as I continue to get closer to the ground. At the garage where the owner sold "snow-cones," I wake.

That dream comes back to mind every now and then. I wonder about the connection of family versus my desire to reach higher. I know I've never been settled or okay with life as it is; I've always yearned for more. And it has always been clear that "value" and "wealth" aren't necessarily the same. While I've yearned for more, the value has always seemed more like a feeling than a dollar figure in the bank or a certain size home. Certainly, in my longings, I have wanted to be in a "certain place," or live a "rich life." And that has always felt like "more." But I can tell you, while I have achieved some things, each achievement eventually leads to the question: "what else?"

A quote from one of my favorite songs, "Open Mind" (Robert Glasper Experiment - Double Booked), sums it up: "Is it not possible for the dreamer to be awaken from what we call our normal life? Transcendent, as the dreamer wakes from his sleep."

Thought for The Day - Late Night

There was a time when being awake, late at night was the thing to do! While my parents didn't go out much when we were children, their siblings, coming to town, was occasion to hang out until late. My cousins and I would hang out, talk, play games, while the adults did the same in their part of the house. There were no dull moments during these times!

It's been forever since I stayed awake, either hanging with family and friends or working. When my daughter is home, we all hang out doing the same thing my parents did, laughing, having fun and talking about our lives. The sense, in the late night hours, is that one can relax; the pressure is pushed off for another day. And hanging with those you love and bridging the distance the years and miles have created is well worth the time!

Thought for The Day - A Great Cloud/Crowd

I’m writing from the 14th floor of the Marriott in Kansas City, Missouri, a city I haven’t visited since the early 90’s at best. My son and I made the drive for the funeral of one my aunt’s, one of my mom’s many sisters. I’m also here because of her son, a dear cousin, who now lives in Dallas. I’m sitting here shaking my head at the thought of so many cousins from childhood; we are now the parents we saw our parents being, and in many cases, the grandparents.

My son and I made it to the small church where the service took place, early enough to get a seat. At first it seemed like it wasn’t necessary to be there 15 minutes before the viewing; the church wasn’t a quarter full and yet, I hardly noticed, for seeing the living. Cousins I haven’t seen in 30 and 40 years to greet. Some with grandchildren of their own; and they were only a few years older than I. 

By 10:15, more people came in and as more familiar faces and voices came in, I stood from the back pew, turning to greet them. At some point, I told my son I may as well stay like this. He asked why and I explained there were a lot more folks coming and a lot more ‘hello’s’ and hugs were due. Didn’t come close to imagining the number. If the church sat 300, the family members that attended the funeral were easily two-thirds of the number. They easily filled the “family side,” the first row reserved family quickly becoming the entire side. As the funeral service began, and more relatives appeared, they filled the front of the other side. And more and more people came, having to take seats in the choir stand. And yet, folding chars were used on either side of the two rows.

My Aunt Dorothy was strong and tough. It occurred to me more than a few times during that service that she had to be, to be the mother of my cousin John. He was a tough and energetic boy. But he LOVED family, though for years, he was an only child. It was okay because in KC, he had enough cousins and aunts and uncles to make him feel like he was part of a large tribe. His strong will and energy was always a force to be reckoned with, but so was his mom’s. She would give him a look and say “lil John,” with such a force, the rest of us would calm down for a bit. Over the years, she put him in sports as a way to give him structured outlets for his energy and a sense of camaraderie. And the man he’s grown into is AMAZING. Strong face, big smile (like the “lil John” I remember from so many years ago!) and a loving personality; he’s always fighting for family. Though he lived far away from his mom, for all practical purposes, he may as well had a house in the next block, the way he cared for her. 

His sister, my cousin Marisa has grown into a beautiful woman as well. I remember when she was a little girl, she barely said more than a few words, at least when she was around me. She has two handsome boys, also athletes. I figure that’s not only their grandmother’s influence, but their uncle John as well. 

The amazing thing, the thing that still has me shaking my head is the number of cousins I remember and didn’t make it to the funeral. I’m only referring those who stay in the area. And I can only imagine what the place would be like if my relatives from Chicago, including my parents and my children and wife, had been there. I’m certain if all my relatives had been there, the church could not have space for “non-family members!” But one thing that seemed quite clear about Aunt Dorothy, though I remember her as a stern and quiet woman, EVERYONE else knows her as a sweet motherly type. 

I guess the traits runs strong through my family. A sense of family extends from all of us. The many occasions and events I’ve attended over the years, an invitation was always extended to non-family and you would be surprised how many in-laws and friends showed. A Great Crowd, a Great Cloud of witnesses, of participants, of folks touched, touching and extending the FAMILY; that’s what I take away from being in this small town. I will probably search faces with greater scrutiny now, having seen so many faces with that “Lee" jawline and those “soulful” eyes like mine. I think my family is so huge that we could fill this small town. I'm certain, when I reach heaven, the FAMILY will be there to meet me.

Thought for The Day - Be Encouraged

Shaken Up! 8 x 11 pencils

I woke with this song playing in my mind and it seemed somehow, appropriate for this morning's entry. Not sure where this will take you and I, but here it goes!

These words "be encouraged," said when we know someone is going through a time of difficulty; the power of these words is the intent behind them. Literally saying to someone, with a desire that their life is turned from tragedy or calamity to joy; that desire seems to lift that person's sense of hope. And seeing that "shift" in the individual, gives us hope.

Paramount to my existence is giving individuals hope and encouragement. For me, it is like igniting or giving additional energy to the light inside us all. It is the human/divine connect that awakes in us our purpose for living. And for some, the igniting is more than a matter of "lifting up the bowed down head," for some, it's a matter of taking destructive energy and turning it to life affirming, life building energy! And just as uttering words of encouragement reflects on the listener as well as the one who says it, so we are a community, designed to bring us all into our divine purpose.

Thought for The Day - Momentum

...let it continue; there are words to be written, to be uttered; bring the other world’s energy to this place and effect a change. Planting seeds, providing soil and rain nourishment. Don’t stunt the growth, but permit it. Remove what is dead and useless to be moved. Pull up what is not desired and grow. But in all, continue moving until your soul says “pause.” 

There images in mind that when rendered, communicate truths. There are colors and shapes to bring from the source, their power and purpose can change the very lives of the viewers. And the only limit is the available time to draw them out. 

As one moves and gets in the practice of "gaining steps," one finds some things, some people fall behind. It isn't intentional, and certainly not your desire to leave, but you are gaining momentum, moving forward. A kind way to put it, is we aren't on the same path and it makes us feel a little easier when conversations don't occur as often. 

Momentum is needed and near perpetually. Even when the path we're on is uphill, full of obstacles or outright blocked, we have to continue on our way. And the difficulties, the times of loneliness, well we hope at some point the road gets smooth and new friends as well as old friends find their way back into our lives. But when you gain momentum, when you're moving forward, continue doing so.

Thought for The Day - Across

A Seed 8 x 11 Pastel

Took a road trip this weekend, a six hour overnight stay to Missouri to see my son. Now growing up, this was the extent of my yearly vacation trips when my parents piled up the car, visiting relatives in Kansas City, MO. But as a father of my own children, we took trips to Virginia for four years, taking my daughter back and forth to school. I fell in love with the mountains and the elevations. The roads seemed smoother - they actually are - and with the grand view as the car climbed a hill or you reached the top and looked down over the valley: SPECTACULAR! But Illinois is relatively flat and depending on what's on your mind, your thoughts become flat and monotonous as well. Missouri can be a bit scenic with it's elevations but for the most part, it's flat as well. Boring, right?

Where I am in at the moment, the life of my family and factors beyond my ability to describe, the scenery seemed exhilarating! The road is very familiar, traveled since I could remember and I could probably do it with my eyes closed. But it wasn't nostalgia, recalling road trips counting horses seen along the way. And it wasn't counting the number of signs for Merramec Caverns, either. No, it was SEEING ACROSS...

The sky, spread from where I sat, behind, before and on every side.
The lives of families and individuals in homes on the road side, connected to families, farms and apartment buildings I would never see from the roadside.
Truckers on long and short hauls, earning a living and a hundred thousand decisions made every fraction of a second.
Retired couples driving down the road, a life full of children in their rearview, parents on the other side and relatives on their road ahead.
Restaurants and diners, workers cooking, cleaning and serving hundreds in their lifetime and never realizing who they are sharing love with a plate of eggs, bacon and pancakes.
Water, mixed with concrete mix, becoming solid, hard and supporting millions of tires and lives for countless years.
Moisture, frozen and appearing white and grey and black on the road and hillside...

Across sky, land and lives, a connection exists, so integrated and complex whether one person or molecule should 'disappear,' not one second or emotion is lost. Everything remains intact no matter how many of us come and go.

We never really leave 'this place;' we are intimately connected to one another, whether we live in love or hate. For there exists a bond to all that only appears when we decide to open our eyes.

Thought for The Day - Fingerprints

I'm listening 24 x 36 Oil painting

The unique mark we leave everywhere, whether we want to or not. But isn't that every part of us? Every line and every word is an extension of our unique identity. We are composed of the same atoms, molecules and cellular combinations. We all have flesh, bones an organs and yet everyone of us is an amazing original. There may be Sarah Vaughn-esque performers or Elvis impersonators, but there will never be another Sarah Vaughn or Elvis Presley. But there will never be another you, or your brother or sister or parents as well!

I appreciate that we have built cities and technology that allow us to connect to one another. I'm glad standards for construction, medicine and even education were established and for the most part, it serves multiple societies well. But every person doesn't fit in the cookie-cutter molds we've created. I would dare say, more and more, people aren't fitting the mold and the shape is changing around us slowly but most assuredly. We are growing, friends and expanding and while we have this good foundation of structure, let's continue to build ourselves, our families and communities with caring and compassion. Explore your creativity and sense of innovation. Imagine a world where love and compassion rule, rather than "dog-eat-dog" as we have known it all of our lives. We've known that was not how life was meant to live, but we accepted it and somehow reveled in it. Before we destroy one another, let's find ways to connect and unify.