I See Change

In many ways, I am still the skinny little boy, playing alone...

I always wanted a companion for this journey

I have one

I have always wanted to be heard

I am being heard

I loved to play as a child, creating stories in my head and acting them out with my toys

I continue to "pretend," but mostly in my head

I always wanted to "make things"

I get to Make Things

I loved to experiment and try things out, to break things or at least uncover the breakable parts

I get to do that all day

I longed for deep, intimate fellowship with God, to know HIM, the creator of all things, the one who holds "the whole world, in his hand" and to understand it all


Well, ALL OF THAT HAPPENED...or is happening

I wanted to share my stories, my adventure of growing up, living life, my joy and my pain

I get to do that in words and images, stories, adventures shared in an endless cycle

And the adventure, the childhood world of play goes on and on

Sometimes...

Expectation 24 x 36 Oils

Stop

No really stop

I'm getting off

I don't care how long or what's out 'there'

Let me out

This ride has gone on way too long

And I've seen too many people I love

Crash

Burn

Get up again with the encouragement of loved ones and friends

And yet the ride remains the same

Do you hear me

Please

Just let me live my life

Without the abuse

And the pain

Let me exercise my life

With Joy

And a lot less pain

And while you're at it

Let a few others off

Let them be children

Loving life

Minus the burden of correction, punishment and misuse

Thought for The Day - Searching for...

A new experience

Another nightmare

Lost Love

New Love

The quintessential song

The right words

Spoken in the right time

To the right person

That subtle moment when the colors on the brush

Convey your state of mind

And the state of your emotions

Thought for The Day - No Limitations

Vast as an ocean
Large as the sky
And we are lost in the expanse of it all
Floating...
Drifting...

Consider the possibilities!

Thought for The Day - Hobbies, Jobs, Careers and Calling

Something to do, places to be...

Most would agree, one doesn't expect to earn money from a hobby; its something done in spare time. A Saturday morning fishing trip is not the opportunity to earn money and watching model trains run across tracks isn't the means to pay the bills.

A job pays the bills! I remember my first pay check and the feelings I had before I got it! At 15, a summer job was an opportunity to earn a little change for my pocket and Burger King was hiring. I didn't know about Federal and state payroll deductions and FICA and Medicare wasn't a thought. So when the check was put in my hand and I tore open the envelope, I was very disappointed! Needless to say, I have learned over the years, that's how it is!

Career; I guess that would have been interesting if I had followed that path. As a kid, there were three possible directions I wanted to go: scientist, artist or business owner. I had a pastor who always talked about owning a neighborhood grocery store. The idea always gave me a sense of having your own and watching the morning rush hour as a kid, even then I wanted to have a bit more control over my morning.

As I reached the adult years, a career as an artist seemed to be my destiny. Except I wasn't winning awards or showing in galleries. Knowing what I do now, I should have taken that teaching assistant position one of my first college professors offered. The exposure to art professionals would have guided my path so much better! At least I would like to think so...

The overarching direction of one's life is determined by your "calling." For the religious types, the narrowly visioned types, "calling" is larger than a pastor or preacher. I know I thought that was the only meaning possible, especially since those seemed to be in my life. However, 22 years after "responding" to that prompting, I am no closer to understanding the purpose of my life. It's not to say I haven't enjoyed some of the twists and turns, the job, hobbies and opportunities to share the good news of the gospel. But it's been a long journey. And there are times I'm not sure I am on the right path...

Thought for The Day - The Winding Road

Follow your path where ever it leads. Don't follow anyone else's path or try to model your life too closely after anyone else. You can desire similar successes, but your life, your journey is yours.

The other day, I talked about "Originality" and tried to present my life's journey as an artist, how I evolved from a kid drawing a portrait of his dad, modeled after a court reporter's rendering to truly doing my own thing. My writing has always been it's own animal. There are author's whose style I love and some parts I emulate, but my voice is my own, in speaking and in writing and it's a lot easier to be me, than anyone else.

You never know where your talents, skills and interests will take you. You may have in mind to go "here," but find you end up "over there." The path winds around, down and up and it is often unclear which way you're going. But keep this in mind: the vision of your life is your's alone. Other singers, musicians, dancers and corporate executives may have walked a similar path but when you find yourself in dark places, while you may want to read the biologies of similar people, you will ultimately have to find your way out of those places alone. It will be your steps, your effort that keeps you moving down that path and to the places you want to be.

One last thought: it's never too late to begin on the journey you had in mind while laying in bed, looking at the ceiling as a child. No matter where you are in life, no matter how far that "childhood wish" is in relation to your current life, you can always start down that path. And truly, only God knows "the way you go." Trust your heart and trust His hand.

Thought for The Day - Thousand Day Journey

The Turn (part of a series) 12 x 17 pastels

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." - Lao Tzu

I remember hearing, reading and meditating on this saying so many years ago. You know when you're a child or teenager, you have no idea how easy life is for you. It isn't until you get into the "real world" where nearly every purchase, decision, consequence or reward is on you! That's when you realize that having goals is critical, but not always easy! The journey may begin with a single step, but it certainly doesn't end there!

What about a journey of a thousand days? You see, with cars, planes and trains, a thousand miles isn't a terrible journey, though it's beginning is the same: a single step (or action). But a thousand days? That's almost three years! I'll go you one better: what about a journey that spans your entire life? From infancy to an undetermined time in the future?

We are all living a "life's journey" from cradle to grave, but there are times when the "destination" is as vague as London fog! We set goals, we set sail and there are times when our journey seems like it has hit a detour. Worse, there are times when it seems it has come to a standstill. But seriously, seriously: DON'T GIVE UP! No matter how long it seems to take, no matter who berates you for continuing, who will not go with you, continue on your way!

And folks, please believe, I speak this for you and I!

One step more, you're almost there!