Nugget and Root

Triplicate

Searching

That _____

The umph and ahhh

The something-something that changes and unravels the mystery of one's life

Searching

Digging

Breaking up

Giving up

Surrendering

And trying again and again and again

Searching

Seeking

Getting advice

And venting one's soul

Replacing

Substituting

Hoping 'this' will be a reasonable replacement for 'that'

Looking in eyes

Examining hair and expressions

Hoping "he" or "she"

Will be the solution for the ache

Giving up

Settling

Disillusion becoming dis-ease in your mind body and soul

Holding a glimmer of hope

An ember buried in the dust of years of trying

Waiting for someone, something somewhere

To BE

Thought for The Day - Finish it!

Linen with a swirl (in process, still)

A coworker asked yesterday, what my goals are in painting. Without hesitation, I said it's to complete the painting I'm working on. I know by the look on her face, she was looking for something like "to be featured in ______ gallery" or "appear in _____ show," but I realize where my life sits for the moment. Aspirations, goals and dreams are important, but additionally, an honest assessment of your current situation is critical as well.

Completing the painting, being certain that it is where I want it to be, is critical. There have been times when I didn't know what else could be added to a painting. There have been times I said at some point, "it's finished," with that lingering sense that something else remained. Not this time; there is a strong sense of what needs to be done and a stronger sense of the completed image I'm looking for. But it is a slow process and worth each time I look over my shoulder as I write.

There's more at stake than completing a picture or saying "I did it!" No, I have intangibles to rise above; there is a sense of accomplishment and another "brick" to add to my identity. Eddie Hudson needs to go through this process and see it through to the end because he has walked away from too many things. Completing this painting is seeing a project through to the very end!

Thought for The Day - Try

I am as incomplete a human being as one could be! I have not exercised my potential, haven't reached the people who await my "listening ear" and sympathetic words and I have yet to render the "glorious work." But I keep trying.

There are days I sit and look at the painting on the easel. I study, analyze and evaluate the dilemmas runny paint have created. There are times, as I go through my morning routine of writing; I look at the globs of paint drying on the palette and kick myself for not "redeeming the time" wisely. There are times, I'm riding the train, walking the block to the office or standing in the elevator and I consider those who read these words, and I wonder "am I getting through?" Are the words, as they filter through me, are they making a difference in the lives of people? ALL. I. CAN. DO. IS. TRY!

It takes effort to get out of the place where you know you don't belong. It takes effort to bring change to your life, especially the type of change you've known you were born to be. But nothing happens until you try. And sometimes, when no one else sees, in the privacy of your thoughts and heart, you are doing just that. But keep trying! Never give up! Try!

Thought for The Day - Exercise

Soul Dance 8 x 11 colored pencils

Very physical

Very demanding

Taxing the soul and mind and body

But beneficial as well...

This exercising of energy and thought and emotions. This breaking of solitary contemplation. The cessation of activity to quiet the mind. Unfortunately, we leave our mind to languish, while we drive and perform 8 hour tasks, once we learn how to do with little menal participation. I mean we sit or stand and think about stuff like, "where is that woman now? What am I eating for dinner? What was that movie, that Sidney Poitier starred in back in 196_?"

I've watched my middle son build cranes and pulleys with his toys and my weight training equipment. Then he moved to robots used for competition in high school. Now he's the consummate photographer, understanding the complexities of apertures and shutter speeds and multi-flash units. I've observed actors and actresses take on the persona of their character and do it with such little effort, you are certain that's who they are in "real life." I've listened to Sarah Vaughn sing with such velvet fluidity that I'm certain she must  have drank olive oil to keep her voice smooth. People practicing their craft or their intellect or their desire.

Exercise calls for a unity of mind, body and soul. It requires going into places where difficulty lives, where stress works for you, not against you. And it requires that you pull for sources rarely encountered in our "real world." Here's a little known fact: everyone has the ability to EXERCISE. It requires a willingness and it requires time.

Today: "bend and stretch, reach for the stars, stand on tippy-toes, reach for Mars." EXERCISE!

Thought for The Day - A Thousand Miles

The Turn 12 x 18 pastels

Think in terms of travel. A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. But beginning ain't nothing compared to the journey. A thousand miles is composed of many steps and each step, while you're closer to your destination, countless thoughts, calculations and feelings occur. We are a myriad of thoughts, impressions and feelings. In a given moment, hundreds of impulses go through our head. In a moment, you can be on a path one way and decide to get off, it seems, because the wind change directions. But truthfully, there are hundreds of decisions occurring in your head continuously!

I find myself on that journey and each day "you" are in each footstep. I think of each person who might read this post. I consider the place you find yourself in your own journey and I pray each step brings you closer. I consider those who have not read and some day, may "stumble" on this path; I wonder what they will think, what they will say. I laugh when I recall finding people to follow through social networks or I've read their books on self-improvement. I've argued, laughed and given serious thought to their thoughts. With some, I've argued against their logic and even fumed over it, but their journey is not mine; we just happen to be going the same direction for a period of time. 

There are times when I look down "this path" and wonder how much longer? Oh, I'm not after a certain place; I know life is a journey. But one has to realize there are times when you feel weary, when you have tried 'this' and 'that' and the return isn't what satisfies. I don't plan to lie down and die; I've come to far and while it seems like I'm a million miles from my desire, I keep pressing forward. It's my desire to see you doing the same.

Thought for The Day - Radiance, A Burst of Light

Words and Images...I love this work!

A few months ago, when I began this process of blogging the "Thought for The Day," I told a coworker that there are times when this is HARD! She said "I thought you love doing it?" And I said I do, but love isn't always pleasure; there are times when love is pain and ache and longing.

There are days when I look at my work and ask myself "what am I doing? This is a waste of time and those brush strokes are terrible!" There are days when I can't help but think about what I'm working on (in my head) as I sit testing software. There are times when I wake and I "have to" put a couple brush strokes or place a couple strokes of the pastels.

A labor of love, some tears and a blend of my soul as I pour it out. The words aren't always poignant and soft; sometimes truth hurts. But then, there are times when the very brightness of the effort is the reward longed for.

Peace!

Thought for The Day - Try, Try Again

Always trying...something new, what seems old; try it again. Maybe this time, another time, it "works." And isn't that ultimately what we want out of life? If I move to this neighborhood, this city, attend this school, marry this woman, maybe 'it' will 'work' for me. Maybe I will earn enough, my belongings won't stolen or vandalized; maybe I will have peace and a "good life." Always trying, always searching.

We won't fault an individual for trying, even when we feel like they're wasting their time. We all stand accused of trying to shift the world to our favor, of connecting our effort to our desires. And everyone capable of reading this will try it again, and again, and again. Why? Because as long as we live, we are motivated to brighten our life, bring beauty and completion to our lives.

And so it goes. Many will read these words, their mind already focusing on a way to do better or their feet and hands moving in the direction of a richer life. Keep at it; it's what we are designed to do.