Jagged Edge

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Sometimes I feel very near that place, the spot where discomfort is dangerous, where life is in jeopardy. And yet, I'm here, now, in this place of comfort. Many times, I wonder if I like discomfort and welcome it into my life. I wonder if I put myself in places to be miserable and prefer it as opposed to comfort and joy. You know, you can make a day in paradise a day in hell!

On the edge, where you don't know whether tomorrow  will come. The place where you think all hope is lost and thoughts of tomorrow are more of the same or worse. Unfortunately, this is what we choose to make reality. Writing this blog does not make me exempt; I most assuredly struggle daily, almost minute by minute, with a sense of misery. So here we sit or stand, on the edge of what we desire above all else and what we choose to accept from life. Somehow, we think the dichotomy is a great place to set up our tent and to hang out.

There is a better place to be, a better choice for our life. It isn't a matter of "deserving" or being "destined" for either one or the other. It is a matter of choosing what is good, right, loving and beneficial. It is both self serving and serves all. It is a choice to live life to it's fullest in all it's wonder and joy. This is our primary purpose in life and to do so using our talents, emotions and love.

Thought for The Day - Slippin'

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"If you fail to plan, you plan to fail."

Yeah...that 'happens.' And it happens to most of us. It isn't that we are without desire of that we don't want to achieve: success, recognition, or live better. But this "planning" and "following through" stuff? Well, that doesn't happen.

So many of us spend our days, miserable at jobs, anxious for the weekend and looking forward to retirement. For the first (full-time jobs), that usually "just" happens; we 'end up' at some company because we applied at 50 of them, we had some skills they could use and they were willing to pay us. We get benefits and enough money to stay miserable. For the weekend and retirement, we hope "it just happens." We hope on the weekend, we will do "something" that's exciting, but usually, we have a bunch of personal stuff to complete, since we're too tired in the week. And then there's retirement; that nagging sinking feeling that the government mandated time is too far away and that we are ill prepared for a fixed income. All-in-all, with all this stuff happening, I think we are digging ourselves a wonderful hole to sink into!

You know, there's something to be said for the people who live their life in spite the warnings and corrections of well meaning 'advisors.' Especially those who achieve. Their "planning" is worked out in their  head, their actions carry out on a daily basis, a practice that allows them to be prepared for an 8 - 5, the weekends and retirement if they choose. But maybe I'm romanticizing a life I'm not living...

Slippin'...it just happens.

Thought for The Day - It's Not The Shoes

There was a series of Nike commercials during the late 80's early 90's, where Michael Jordan is repeatedly asked by Mars, a character from the movie "She's Gotta Have It," and played by Spike Lee. Mars repeatedly asks Michael if his ability to play basketball so well is attributed to his shoes, or his jersey or anything other than Michael's own prowess and discipline. And so it is with most of us; we want to believe the "power" and capability has been magically transferred or originates from our food, shoes or our body. We also blame the same for our feelings of pain: "all this preprocessed food is killing us," yet we never stop eating it or if we do, we're back to it "every now and then."

I bought a pair of shoes nearly a year ago, specifically designed to be lighter and provide cushioning for my feet. I bought them for the daily commute to work and to feel comfortable as I walked around the office; business dress shoes can be restricting, though stylish. The shoes are comfortable and can feel like I've got room to grow, but there are times when it seems my feet are "rolling around" in the shoes and I'm uncomfortable wearing them. What I decided is "it's not the shoes." It isn't the corporate setting where the shoes are worn; there are people there and in similar offices who want to be there and for various reasons. It's not the uneven pavement or slant of one of the streets that make me uncomfortable; it's my own thoughts and feelings.

Now, as I mentioned in the posting "Pesky Little Things," the sense of discomfort can be a good thing; it could be your psyche's way of telling you to keep reaching for "better things." We want better, we want our time here in this world to mean something and when that isn't happening, rather than settle for 'less,' it is our tendency to express angst with our situation. But by all means, when the "pesky," miserable life you live is getting to you, go find the world you long for, but keep in mind: "it's not the shoes..."

Thought for The Day - A Sliver of Sunlight

In the darkest of days - overcast, blustery and cold - a light can shine into your life. It breaks through for a minute or two, unexpectedly. In the heart of a Chicago fall or winter day, a moment or two of intense sunlight is needed to break the grip of the doldrums.

Some clouds hang low, they are thick and dark and on a walk along the river or the lake, the air grips you and sinks into your bones. But mostly the darkness is the pain of a life, searching for a way to live to its full.

So when a moment comes along, the winds die down and that light flashes from above; when you feel it's warmth and it eases away the pain, if only for a moment, there's the promise of a life much better. Hold on to it, cherish it.

There's always more to come.