Sunday, February 9, 2014

Thought for The Day - Just a little further

Enter this space...

I'm Listening 24 x 30 oil painting

If you are bemoaning your current state because it's not where you want to to be, turn around and see how far you've come.

So many days I hated the life I was living. I worked a job where there was no way I would advance and didn't care to. I was on the verge of losing the job and as it was said to me by my boss at the time, it was because "You aren't happy." My car was old and always problematic and though I worked diligently in my church, respected by my students, somehow all the "positions of prestige" were awarded to others. I was depressed, so much so, I could not see any light at all. I held on to my faith, but I wasn't allowing it to hold me. It was a matter of perspective, and quite honestly, I spent each day looking at the ground!

One of the nagging issues in my life for many years was the absence of creativity. Sure I could creatively teach a Sunday School lesson, providing students with "food for the soul" to last a lifetime. I could preach a sermon, taking God's word and allowing it to filter through my perspective. When a friend or coworker needed to talk about their problems, I listened, prayed and opened my mouth to provide helpful suggestions and perspectives. But in my mind, this wasn't enough. I wanted to draw and paint.

It's 2014. I"ve been painting and drawing again nearly every day for five years. I always have an image or an idea for one in my head. At the moment, there's a painting and drawing that I can't wait to put my hand and soul upon!!! And I'm writing. I write every day, nearly all day. I'm sure my coworkers think I'm slacking off because I'm always hunched over my notepad writing something. When people need to talk, I listen. When they need a bit of advice or just another perspective, I'm there.

But the journey does not end there. In my heart, I can be as depressed as I was years ago. But depression, anxiety, even fear have a new perspective for me: they remind me "I'm not done yet!" I am thankful to be creative again. The very idea that I have more projects in mind that I have time to do is both motivating and depressing, but its so much further than years ago! Twenty years ago, I wouldn't allow myself to think about drawing and most certainly not painting. I built a 20' fence around visual expression.

The line from the

song comes to mind and tears flow :"my soul looks back and wonders, how I get over!" I know my journey has taken me much further than I thought possible. I would not tell you it's been easy! But it's not over! There are still people to reach, there are souls to be brought back to life through visual art, and words! And on my shoulders sit motivation and depression, both pushing me further. This is a declaration that until I die, I MUST GO ON... just a little further!