Thought for The Day - In the Face of The Void

Pre-dawn light (bird in flight) 24 x 30 Oils

Let me start off by saying I truly hate it when "strong Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, etc" get on a high horse and forget their moment of darkness. We all have them, and some of us, multiple times, repeatedly and unexpected. When you think you've conquered every dragon, demon, "ex-somebody" or bad habit, another shows up to play slap tag with your sensibilities.

I remember years ago, preaching a sermon about Elijah the old testament prophet, and his exposed moment of darkness. He had a God appointed meeting with 450 prophets of a idol god called Baal. He made them look silly with on simple request to God: "accept the sacrifice and light the fire." Done. Celebration by all who witnessed this show of strength and the 450 prophets were killed. Yeah, yeah, I know, in our "sensible society," such acts are unconscionable, but that was then, and this is now. Let's get to Elijah's turning point. The next day, when King Ahab, the ruling king of Israel (northern tribes) told his wife, she sent a message to Elijah: "May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them."First Kings 19:3 says: "Elijah was afraid and ran for his life."There is a great deal afterward, but I want you to see the void, the darkness he faced! He had served God for we don't how many years before this, he hid in the wilderness while King Ahab lost his mind and decided to kill anyone associated with the Jewish worship customs and he stood up to him and 450 prophets when God asked him to do it. Why would he be afraid now? This was a woman; the king had all the power and he was dealt with!

My friend, it wasn't 'her' that got to him, it was "all of this!" Have you ever had an "all of this" moment? Often, when we want to know what made someone 'snap,' we look at the the last detail before they lost it, before their character changed. For many of us, that's the straw that breaks the camel's back, but it's all the other straw sitting there, weighing you down as well. It is the unanswered question "why am I so different from everyone else?" Or "why is it, every time I save $200, I have to spend $300 on repairs?" (that one says "why can't I get out of this hole?") There are hundreds of question, either directed at God or the 'air,' but we ask them incessantly, consciously or unconsciously. And those questions, the thoughts are the void that we fear crossing. It is the place where no answer seems to live.

The King of kings faced one himself. He faced a darkness that we would never believe God would. He called it "the cup." That late night as he and his disciples sat in the garden of Gethsamane, as he prayed and mentally prepared for what was to come, he took a look into that dark liquid in the cup. He faced the darkness like you and I would. He asked this question three times: "If it is possible, let this cup pass from me. But nevertheless, not my will, but yours be done." I know we know this story and it's outcome, so the significance of the moment can pass you by without your acknowledging it. He looked in that cup and wondered, should I do this? Should I go this route? Do I really want to do this? THIS. IS. HUGE!!!! He faced a darkness; God himself faced a darkness and learned a valuable lesson: obedience and humility.

The darkness comes for many of us, because we have a ways to go. Our journey is long, though we don't know how long. We may have a resume of accomplishments or a rap sheet as long as a greedy detective's arm, but we have history. And no matter how far you travel, no matter what you know, you will face darkness, or the void from time to time. I offer no solutions today, but I will say this: hang in there. If necessary, if required - you will know by what your soul tells you - go into that void, but know you will come out of it.

God's blessing on you today.

Thought for The Day - Uh, Maybe I Don't "Got This"

I start the process, a blank surface in front of me and at times, as blank a surface in my head. No preconceived notion just waiting to be released, but my surrendering to the process. And at times, what comes as a result is what you see in this forum. All too often, in between the times I render, while sitting in this space, I think "what is it Im trying to do?" I examine the lines and colors and how it twists. Like a person riding along in a car seeing faces and horse and elephants in the clouds, I concentrate on the shapes and try to see the same. But like a mature artist, I try to find the storyline in the images as well. All life is full of stories and histories and biographies; we live them out everyday, though we don't realize our story is being unfolded, day-by-day, from dilemma to resolution.

There are times when I "know" which way I want to go, what direction I want the painting or drawing to go. And on rarer occasions, I'm able to complete the piece as I saw it in my head. But all too often, the colors and patterns laid down, change and realign into something I didn't expect. In this moment, I have to say "thank God for allowing me to get back to art at this point in my life!" If I were younger, I would be thoroughly discouraged that things weren't working as I think they should! Oh believe me, it's frustrating, but life experience, a lifetime of disappointments and learning the lesson behind them, allows me to be patient. And yes, over time, "things work out."

This art "work," the creative process is full of twist and turns, I'm not always sure where I'm going. But I'm sure if I keep on the path, I'll get to where I should be soon.

Thought for The Day - Just a little further

Enter this space...

I'm Listening 24 x 30 oil painting

If you are bemoaning your current state because it's not where you want to to be, turn around and see how far you've come.

So many days I hated the life I was living. I worked a job where there was no way I would advance and didn't care to. I was on the verge of losing the job and as it was said to me by my boss at the time, it was because "You aren't happy." My car was old and always problematic and though I worked diligently in my church, respected by my students, somehow all the "positions of prestige" were awarded to others. I was depressed, so much so, I could not see any light at all. I held on to my faith, but I wasn't allowing it to hold me. It was a matter of perspective, and quite honestly, I spent each day looking at the ground!

One of the nagging issues in my life for many years was the absence of creativity. Sure I could creatively teach a Sunday School lesson, providing students with "food for the soul" to last a lifetime. I could preach a sermon, taking God's word and allowing it to filter through my perspective. When a friend or coworker needed to talk about their problems, I listened, prayed and opened my mouth to provide helpful suggestions and perspectives. But in my mind, this wasn't enough. I wanted to draw and paint.

It's 2014. I"ve been painting and drawing again nearly every day for five years. I always have an image or an idea for one in my head. At the moment, there's a painting and drawing that I can't wait to put my hand and soul upon!!! And I'm writing. I write every day, nearly all day. I'm sure my coworkers think I'm slacking off because I'm always hunched over my notepad writing something. When people need to talk, I listen. When they need a bit of advice or just another perspective, I'm there.

But the journey does not end there. In my heart, I can be as depressed as I was years ago. But depression, anxiety, even fear have a new perspective for me: they remind me "I'm not done yet!" I am thankful to be creative again. The very idea that I have more projects in mind that I have time to do is both motivating and depressing, but its so much further than years ago! Twenty years ago, I wouldn't allow myself to think about drawing and most certainly not painting. I built a 20' fence around visual expression.

The line from the

song comes to mind and tears flow :"my soul looks back and wonders, how I get over!" I know my journey has taken me much further than I thought possible. I would not tell you it's been easy! But it's not over! There are still people to reach, there are souls to be brought back to life through visual art, and words! And on my shoulders sit motivation and depression, both pushing me further. This is a declaration that until I die, I MUST GO ON... just a little further!