Thought for The Day - Grateful

June 4th (thereabouts), 1984, that's 30 years ago, I graduated from college. I remember well over a year before that, an underlying tremor set into my spirit; the prospects of making a living as an artist seemed dim. My mother's idea of a "plan b" would have to wait until I finished school because I was at the end of my run and didn't plan to take more classes. But graduation was bittersweet; I was glad for the accomplishment, I had a degree in fine arts, something I really wanted. And yet, artists "starve..."

I'm sitting in my "space" as I write. Thirty years from graduation; while as an artist, income is scarce, I am surrounded by more of my work than I could have imagined doing at the time of graduation! I have paintings hanging in my home and in the homes of family and friends! And I am grateful that God will not allow my dream to shrivel on the vine. I would like to believe as long as I live and my body and mind function, far more work is coming!

Thought for The Day - Aim High

Considering the many challenges we all face, there is no other focal point suitable for living! All too often, we make choices, accompanied by the phrase: "I just want _______!" It took years before I figured out no one "just wants." We all want far more than a little bit and "average" is never enough. But somewhere along the way, we set aside our dreams and hopes for a "piece of the pie." Depending on the level of difficulty and the expected hardship and return, we adjust our dreams based on "reality." Explain reality when it comes to most celebrities and athletes? Explain reality when you think about sitting in front of  'screen' or 'monitor,' powered by electricity, that practically places the world at your fingertips?

Life is full of disappointments. You will be let down along the way. But no matter how many times it knocks you down, the worst thing you could do is remain flat on your face or back! But the thing just as bad is getting up and settling for the crumbs and scraps the world offers. I may have shared this quote before but it is always worth sharing again:

"I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary; new, universal, and more liberal laws will begin to establish themselves around and within him; or the old laws will be expanded, and interpreted in his favor in a more liberal sense, and he will live with the license of a higher order of beings. If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them."

Henry David Thoreau

Thought for The Day - A Thousand Miles

The Turn 12 x 18 pastels

Think in terms of travel. A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. But beginning ain't nothing compared to the journey. A thousand miles is composed of many steps and each step, while you're closer to your destination, countless thoughts, calculations and feelings occur. We are a myriad of thoughts, impressions and feelings. In a given moment, hundreds of impulses go through our head. In a moment, you can be on a path one way and decide to get off, it seems, because the wind change directions. But truthfully, there are hundreds of decisions occurring in your head continuously!

I find myself on that journey and each day "you" are in each footstep. I think of each person who might read this post. I consider the place you find yourself in your own journey and I pray each step brings you closer. I consider those who have not read and some day, may "stumble" on this path; I wonder what they will think, what they will say. I laugh when I recall finding people to follow through social networks or I've read their books on self-improvement. I've argued, laughed and given serious thought to their thoughts. With some, I've argued against their logic and even fumed over it, but their journey is not mine; we just happen to be going the same direction for a period of time. 

There are times when I look down "this path" and wonder how much longer? Oh, I'm not after a certain place; I know life is a journey. But one has to realize there are times when you feel weary, when you have tried 'this' and 'that' and the return isn't what satisfies. I don't plan to lie down and die; I've come to far and while it seems like I'm a million miles from my desire, I keep pressing forward. It's my desire to see you doing the same.

Thought for The Day - Continue

Out for a Drive 8 x 11 colored pencils

"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming!" If you have children or a love for children's movies, then the opening line is familiar to you. It's the voice of Ellen Degeneres, as the fish character (forgetting all the names of the characters right about now - ugh!) in the movie Finding Nemo. The song was something she created to keep her and Nemo's father going as they swam across the ocean, looking for his son. Nearly every story has a theme and a purpose; it's part of the fabric of story telling. If we allow it, we are always learning and if we're feeling very generous with our selves we learn something dramatically different every day! Watching this movie for what seemed like a hundred times with my youngest,  the scenes became very familiar and the story line was drilled into my head. But it was such a great movie, I enjoyed watching it with my little one.

But here I am, sitting in my make-shift studio. It's very early in the morning, before 5:00 and this has become my routine. "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming," comes to mind as I consider going back to bed, "it's cold in this room" and a thousand other reasons I can use to avoid the work. But I have a goal in mind and the only way I will get there is to "just keep swimming, just keep swimming!" Now I've always had an idea in my head, but years ago, it looked like it should be" a lot closer in relationship to the course of life. No one attends college with hopes of "one day" getting to their desired career! If you attend college, you expect immediately afterwards, you will be sitting in the space where you can exercise your talents and abilities. But I got off track; WAY off track! Like getting married, raising children to adulthood, off track before I felt comfortable dipping a brush in paint on a regular basis. And still, I hope, just around the corner, over the next hill, the life I desire will be waiting.

I continue,  I go on. I get up early, relearn techniques and new ones and I write. I write enough to fill thousands of pages and imagine pictures and series of paintings endlessly. And I "just keep swimming, just keep swimming!"

Thought for The Day - Just a little further

Enter this space...

I'm Listening 24 x 30 oil painting

If you are bemoaning your current state because it's not where you want to to be, turn around and see how far you've come.

So many days I hated the life I was living. I worked a job where there was no way I would advance and didn't care to. I was on the verge of losing the job and as it was said to me by my boss at the time, it was because "You aren't happy." My car was old and always problematic and though I worked diligently in my church, respected by my students, somehow all the "positions of prestige" were awarded to others. I was depressed, so much so, I could not see any light at all. I held on to my faith, but I wasn't allowing it to hold me. It was a matter of perspective, and quite honestly, I spent each day looking at the ground!

One of the nagging issues in my life for many years was the absence of creativity. Sure I could creatively teach a Sunday School lesson, providing students with "food for the soul" to last a lifetime. I could preach a sermon, taking God's word and allowing it to filter through my perspective. When a friend or coworker needed to talk about their problems, I listened, prayed and opened my mouth to provide helpful suggestions and perspectives. But in my mind, this wasn't enough. I wanted to draw and paint.

It's 2014. I"ve been painting and drawing again nearly every day for five years. I always have an image or an idea for one in my head. At the moment, there's a painting and drawing that I can't wait to put my hand and soul upon!!! And I'm writing. I write every day, nearly all day. I'm sure my coworkers think I'm slacking off because I'm always hunched over my notepad writing something. When people need to talk, I listen. When they need a bit of advice or just another perspective, I'm there.

But the journey does not end there. In my heart, I can be as depressed as I was years ago. But depression, anxiety, even fear have a new perspective for me: they remind me "I'm not done yet!" I am thankful to be creative again. The very idea that I have more projects in mind that I have time to do is both motivating and depressing, but its so much further than years ago! Twenty years ago, I wouldn't allow myself to think about drawing and most certainly not painting. I built a 20' fence around visual expression.

The line from the

song comes to mind and tears flow :"my soul looks back and wonders, how I get over!" I know my journey has taken me much further than I thought possible. I would not tell you it's been easy! But it's not over! There are still people to reach, there are souls to be brought back to life through visual art, and words! And on my shoulders sit motivation and depression, both pushing me further. This is a declaration that until I die, I MUST GO ON... just a little further! 

Thought for The Day - Thousand Day Journey

The Turn (part of a series) 12 x 17 pastels

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." - Lao Tzu

I remember hearing, reading and meditating on this saying so many years ago. You know when you're a child or teenager, you have no idea how easy life is for you. It isn't until you get into the "real world" where nearly every purchase, decision, consequence or reward is on you! That's when you realize that having goals is critical, but not always easy! The journey may begin with a single step, but it certainly doesn't end there!

What about a journey of a thousand days? You see, with cars, planes and trains, a thousand miles isn't a terrible journey, though it's beginning is the same: a single step (or action). But a thousand days? That's almost three years! I'll go you one better: what about a journey that spans your entire life? From infancy to an undetermined time in the future?

We are all living a "life's journey" from cradle to grave, but there are times when the "destination" is as vague as London fog! We set goals, we set sail and there are times when our journey seems like it has hit a detour. Worse, there are times when it seems it has come to a standstill. But seriously, seriously: DON'T GIVE UP! No matter how long it seems to take, no matter who berates you for continuing, who will not go with you, continue on your way!

And folks, please believe, I speak this for you and I!

One step more, you're almost there!

Thought for The Day - Moving Forward

Some days, weeks, months seems like "forward" isn't possible. Then one day you look up and you've moved away from all that held you back.

Twenty-two years old, certain there were at least two things I was "destined" to do: visual art and preach/teach. Didn't know how I was going to do them and in the short term, placed emphasis on the latter.  I'm doing both now. Didn't know how it was possible, thought they were diametrically opposed and couldn't see how a preacher could paint and preach. I see now.

Thank you, Lord.

Thought for The Day - Thinking...

Phoenix - 18 x 24 Pastels

You ever have one of those days, weeks - hopefully not longer - where you wish you could turn off your brain? It isn't the accomplishments or hopes that need to be shut down, it's those annoying self-doubts and life-confirming hard-knocks that leave you in a constant state of anguish! Everywhere you turn, trouble, difficulty and disappointments plague your every move.

Sorry, it's this way sometimes. We don't have the 'luxury' of lives full of mountains and flowers; our lives our lived in the valley and on the plain. And even our "bright spots" have to admit, sometimes it's downright disappointing to the extent you wonder if it's worth it.

Well it is worth it! Every hardship, every struggle and disappointment as well. So while the thoughts are racing to what seems to a brick wall, while it seems like the life you desire is off limits and moved on to rest on another's shoulders, keep pressing on!

Thought for The Day - Dig!!!

I know I can't be alone in feeling this way, some days I want to throw in the towel! Give up for those unfamiliar with that old saying. It's not like there's one thing I want to accomplish or taking classes to complete a degree; this is my life and all the things I want changed, the success I hope for seems elusive! And the dreams from childhood on up? Wow! Really God, and I'm stuck in an office? Please don't get me wrong; I am grateful for income, I just wish it was tied to my heart's desire. And testing someone software isn't my "heart's desire!"

DIG!!! The shamelessly 'borrowed' image is the one that comes to mind each time I walk away from trying. I'm not a young guy anymore and I went a long time wanting to be an artist, without touching brush to canvas. I've wanted to write and have for a long time. I have a small audience, people who 'look' at my blog (thank you if you're 'looking!'). But I get frustrated! And yet for each time, I walk away, I'm drawn back to where I left off...
 

By the way, that last part of the wall may seem like you only have a few feet and little effort to go. Not to discourage anyone, but in reality, that's the hardest part. You're tired, your pickax is too and the rock is the hardest closest to your desire.

But DIG!!!