Five Minutes

Looking at the clock, five minutes before I hit the streets...

Five minutes before I'm late

Five minutes before my blood boils

Five minutes after I'm gone, the room will be in chaos

Five minutes until the top of the hour

Five minutes more to sleep

Five minutes

Five minutes

Five minutes

Always time conscious, but always out of it and always momentous...

Five minutes...

Feather Lands

Slowly sailing

Down

   Down

        Down

And over

Back and

Forth

Falling slowly

A tiny breeze

Brings it over here

And back there

Again

Absentmindedly

You observe

Half interested

Your thoughts

Floating

Here

      There

And back to the feather

Slowly it lands

The dance ends



...merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream...

Thought for The Day - Clockin'

Terrible for the senses

Makes you reactionary and wars against your sensibilities...

Some rise early, intent on getting a couple tasks for the day, completed before hitting the pavement. Some rise with a few minutes time before they have to get out the house; no "self-love" involved in their daily preparation for a demanding life. Up and out; no breakfast, grabbing whatever is clean or nearly so. And angry, frustrated is how they spend the day. And thoughts about the future? "I barely have enough energy to get through the day and you want me to think about what else I'm going to do?!" Yeah, sorry about that...

In the middle of "survival mode" there are people who are happy to have an expectation of income, however meager. They pool resources - i.e. income - buy cars, homes, and share food. And all the while their thoughts are constantly on the infinite possibilities that are ahead!

Sunrise; you've been awake for an hour or more. At this point, your mind and body are at peace. You've considered the day's activities, planned contingencies for what will go wrong - "if Bill comes in with the usual excuse of being up all night with his sick child, we will be weeks behind on this project, so I will have to _____." You have given thought to lunch, where and what and planned your evening activities: a trek through a nature trail not too far from home and a light dinner before relaxing with a book. Your income is sufficient, it provides for your current needs and a portion is saved for future investments and hopes...

Each of us are clocking; we are watching it, considering it, remembering what was lost, mindful of what is not available and where we should be in life. We are considerate of, angry at and hopeful -TIME. We want more of it and pray for better (timing) and bemoan the days, weeks and decades gone (i.e. "I should have enrolled in culinary school, I should have invested in my own business, I should have never married that ______!").

Time is a precious commodity and it seems to me, the best way to live in relation to it is living today, with resources reserved for the future you hope for!

Thought for The Day - Patchwork Tapestry

Open Channel 24 x 36 Oil painting

The Turn 12 x 18 pastels

Where are You Now 8 x 11 colored pencil

After the Dance 18 x 24 mixed media

A fragment from this memory

An unused stretch of silk that would fit perfectly in 'this' spot

Your hand

My heart

This road trip...

Parts and sections brought together with your love of ice cream over rich peach cobbler. This woven pattern of life; so big I can't see where it starts and it stretches east, west, north and south out of sight. The blue of the skies, the brown clay dirt and rocky surface are a part of this beautiful patchwork fabric. And the tears you cried when your child outgrew your "kissy" good-byes are mingled in, as well.

Thought for The Day - Five Minutes

"I'll be ready in 5 minutes! (more like 30)"

"This will only take a minute."

"Give me just 5 minutes of your time."

Nothing and a lot can happen in five minutes...and that is testament to the life we live. There is always something going on and yet there is a great deal of our time wasted within the same time frame. It is my sincerest prayer that "your time" is filled with productive time, even if you simply need to "take five," i.e. rest. There is a great deal at stake and far too much divine potential in us to spend time waiting for "things to happen."

Thought for The Day - Give Me a Little Time

Just a few minutes more
Just a few more
To savor this moment
To hang on to this sunset
And the gentle breeze
Whistling through the trees
Just a few seconds longer
To hold on to my beloved
To hold her closer and feel the warmth of her breath
Near my face
Before running off to work
And a life without her presence
Allow me an hour or two
Standing before this canvas,
"Work" isn't laborious or grueling
Pleasure is found in each brush stroke
The one to come as significant as the many before
One more day of life
Comes and goes quickly
Time passes faster than the whisper of your name
But each moment
Each day
And each hour
Caught
Savored
Lingering
Leaves an indelible mark on my heart
Marking both me and history
Declaring I was here
You were there
And we loved each breath taken

Thought for The Day - Rearranging the Space

Clearing out space

Moving around stuff

Making room for more

Getting rid of old energy

A constant process... we aren't as wise and clever as we would like to think. But we've got to do something! After all, as much as we deny it, we crave change! It's in our DNA, our soul is this bundle of energy and constant growth. So, from one minute to the next, from day to day, we move about, we settle down, we shift and we stretch. Always moving people in and out of our lives.

Yes, people and things, coming and going; seeing this person and that one; wanting to "settle down" with someone but when we do, we aren't really settled are we? We want to grow together and somehow we don't. We make this life as difficult as it needs to be.

My words aren't cryptic, friend. You understand what I'm saying...

Thought for The Day - Five Minutes

Not long right? Not enough time...

Take a few minutes to consider the world around you. In this moment, I am surrounded by books, computers, art supplies, work in progress and completed work. In a period of five minutes, I can take inventory of years gathering, praying and hoping for a fulfilling life. In five minutes, I consider some items I didn't pray or ask to receive, but I have anyway. In five minutes, I can imagine what life would be like if I didn't have this small space to call my own. In five minutes, I can imagine what life would be like if I had more space. And in five minutes, I am grateful for answered prayers and the promise of rich life!

Five minutes, that's all you need. Consider...

Thought for The Day - Time is Ticking

I know I can't be alone when I say this: I spend more time focused on "time" than it seems possible! I sit to write, my wrist watch sits in front of me to ensure I'm not "wasting time." As if that isn't enough, I find myself pressing the button on my phone to confirm the time. Or I'm checking the time on my computer for the time. I get to the gym and I'm mindful of the time; the time I get there determines how much I get done. And the time I leave, determines how quickly I get home and back out the door for the "9 - 5."

Up before dawn most mornings, trying to ensure "enough time" to get in personal time, I'm ever mindful that my time is limited.

And in the middle of it all, I wonder: "Will I ever have "time" to slow down? Will this pace and the constant checking of watches ever get to a point I can focus on the current activity without concern for the next?"

Time isn't the enemy; the enemy is my obsession with squeezing in a life full of tasks!

Thought for The Day - The Good News/The Bad News

The good news is you're alive (you are, after all, reading this).

The bad news is you may not be using your time wisely. Sure there's "work," the 9-5, if that's what you do everyday. But I've known people who don't use their time wisely at work. Tasks and assignments aren't completed as needed and it's not until management threatens to dismiss you, that "time management" is a consideration.

The good news is you like/love to read (you're reading this).

The bad news is not everything you read is worth your time. Back to the time issue, again. I've heard this once and it was good enough to stick: "if you love reading, there's a strong possibility there's a story" in you. Now I know there are many novels, books of poetry and a couple self-help books in me! Today's thought isn't merely about you; it's me, performing a self-convicting disclosure!

The good news is you "have time..."

No bad news on this one; each day is what you make of it. While you may berate and criticized yourself - and possibly others - the time is yours to use effectively. I'm not talking about organizing your day down to the minute and in some cases, not every hour. But it is a matter of evaluating how your time is spent, in light of what your goals and your purpose. And after evaluating, performing the necessary steps until that demon is exorcised!

The good news is you have a reason to be alive; you have a purpose.

The bad news: you may not be using your time effectively in light of your purpose. I'm not sure if you've ever read this in my blog, but I "KNEW" (notice the caps?) I was supposed to be an artist. I questioned the preacher part, but did it (and still do) when the time was right. But I had high aspirations of touching hearts and mind with my work. My mom wanted me to be reasonable and have a plan B, just in case the art didn't work out. Enough doubt and concerned was raised that at 21, shortly after graduation with a degree in Fine Arts, I put my pens, pencils and brushes away. But thirty years later - yes that long - I'm back at it. I have to "unlearn" a great deal of self-doubt and force selfishness - guarding tmy time in the studio is an internal fight more than a fight with family and "commitments." But I'm determined to do so. As far as setting the world on fire, touching "hearts and minds?" Well, I will allow the "beholder" to decide if the message hidden in lines and colors, gets 'em to the core.

Thought for The Day - Shaped by the Wind

It is said that rock formations, land masses, as we know and especially decade old trees are shaped by the elements. The wind, rain and other factors we would not normally consider, shape what we view as "nature's handiwork" over long periods of time. But we ignore the form that occurs much closer to home: you and I.

When I was small, my family and I attended a small church on the west side of Chicago. My father talked about the congregation being large at one point, having about 30 members at a single time; makes me wonder how large is the average congregation! As long as I could remember, we had Sunday school for maybe a period of 6 months or less, and at approximately the age of 9 or 10, I was the teacher of one of the children classes - at least for a couple lessons.

All of my life, I have had a love and interest in matters of the spiritual nature. I have wondered at the marvels of history, especially as it connects to matters larger than 'us.' I "know" the significance of dreams even if I am often confused and overwhelmed at the specifics and how they play out in life. So is it any wonder, at the age of 12, I had a couple dreams that influenced me later on in life. In two separate dreams, I saw myself in the pulpit of that small westside church and understood what it meant. As I got older, I thought the likelihood of my standing in that specific pulpit would more than likely 'not' occur, especially after I joined another congregation in my young adult years. And my being in a pulpit, seemed further away as I neared that age of transition into adulthood. But God has a way of bringing you back around to what he - and you - want for you.

One evening, nearly a year after graduation from college, as I entered my parents house, I said a simple prayer, that went something like this: "Lord, you've blessed me. I have a car, good income, a wonderful girlfriend I would like to marry. What can I do to return my thanks to you?" His reply was simple: "answer my call." I knew exactly what he meant when it was said, however I wanted to be sure so I said "what?" And he said again, answer my call. I won't go into the specifics of what was exchanged afterwards, I will, however tell you this: it was extremely clear that the direction of my life was under his guiding hand.

There have been many turns and strange detours in my life. The "straight line" one would expect when that type of direction is given, has not occurred in my life. I can say, most assuredly, that I have come to trust God more and more since that time. And even when some of the difficulties challenge my sense of who He is, in one way or another, he reassures me that I am on the path he desires for me. This one thing I suggest for anyone who would follow God: trust that the "shape" you take may seem permanent; you may have a firm pattern of life. But trust, when good as well as difficult times come, you will find Him working in ways you can't begin to understand. But also trust He is indeed working to shape you as he sees fit.

Thought for The Day - Tick-Tock

Hey Mama! 18 x 24 charcoal, pastels

Whatever your age, have you considered how quickly your life has gone by? Depending on your age, you can recall the markers, the indicators that give the impression you've been "here" for a while. But walk with me for a little while. Consider these indicators:

1. A time when you were a child, before school, even kindergarten. Recall an event, a memory of being the small one in a room or playing with 'peers.'
2. The years in school; a teacher you admired or a teacher who made you miserable! Classmates, endless homework, being ridiculed, bullied, or maybe you were the Big Man/Woman on Campus!
3. College years; those few years before you are ushered into adulthood. Your sense that while college was fun, it was a short distance between childhood (being taken care of) and adulthood (the time when you were expected to be the responsible one - and everything that comes along with it!).
4. Your first, second, and maybe third "job." Maybe it was your career, the dream job, the place and occupation you always wanted. Perhaps it was less so, it was a means to an end, a way to put food on the table. And maybe you truly despised any number of jobs held in your adult years
5. Watching your children being born, growing older and seeing yourself and your parents in this new relationship. Remembering their days in school and struggling with homework. Your challenge either being learning the "new math" or trying to recall how to do this stuff.
6. Sending your children off to college - I'm there now - or realizing they would never "come home again." But your trying to put on a brave face, while your heart aches to have them near.
7. Looking forward to retirement; who wants to do this stuff for the rest of their life? Rising early, fighting traffic to get a place where you are considered the Old man or woman, and nearly dismissed. Or maybe you're respected, but you know it's a matter of time before you need to put this behind you.
8. Grandchildren! The circle of life continues as you listen to your children's stories of "firsts" and having to help with homework!
9. Retirement; those years where life seems to slow down, but in retrospect, weren't you just a little boy or girl, sitting at the kitchen table?

My wife's aunt passed away yesterday and as I got up this morning, I remembered one picture of her with my mother-in-law from our wedding photo album. She would have been in her early 60's when we married. She died at the tender age of 87. That was 26 years ago that my wife and I said "I do." There are days where I can't wait for _______! But it's moment's like this, I wish I could freeze or slow down time and just be in this spot for a lot longer. Consider your life; the moments, days and years...time doesn't seem as long when we consider how quickly it flies. 

Thought for The Day - Five More Minutes, Please?

Clutching the sheets and comforter, the sun, a distant light and also hidden behind its covers, I hold out for a few more minutes as the alarm goes off.

At the easel, brush loaded with orange and pressed against the canvas, a thought comes to mind: "I've got to pick up the clothes from the cleaners before they close!" And though I'm in the middle of important work, another, more pressing task interrupts it.

Listening to my adult daughter as she stomps across the floor above me, heels on as she prepares to jet off to home, I wish 21 years hadn't gone by so fast!

And we are always chasing after, too far behind, TIME!

Thought for The Day - Passing the Time

More than fingers pointing in the middle of a circle
Or the numbers that change on your phone
It is what we do,
When we're doing nothing
When we're doing too much
And when we sleep

Time is a companion
Whose stark truth
Makes us regret
How much we've wasted
It's the enemy of romantic love
A moment
An hour
A day
Never enough
to say "I love you"
In new ways

Time does not move fast
But in relation to us
It's a tortoise
Whose shell we chase after
Especially
When it's time to go to the place we can't tolerate
EVERYDAY
It moves far too slow
When we're trying to get away from that same place
And when we allow it
It lingers and slows to an imperceptible pace
When we listen to a good tune

Time
A marker
An indicator
that we were here
And tomorrow we are there

Thought for The Day - Fall and River

Fall and River 12 x 18 pastels

Colors, dulling as the days shrink, the water still flows to the ocean...

It is all miraculous and yet so commonplace, we treat it as common. We have our moments, those isolated fragments of time when we put aside anxiety and see with the eyes of a child, sunlight twinkling through the mesh of leaves and tree limbs. We gaze, every now and then, at a night sky, where the moon shines its halogen glow, a few stars spot the indigo, drowned out by the glow of cities too afraid to sleep.

The river still flows...

There are parts of our life that won't stop 'cause I'm stressing! Farmers are out at 5:00 am, working their land, trying to get that paper, while someone's mom stands on a bus stop to get to that job, with a limited return. Her life is the neighborhood, this bus, her kids and the old storefront church where she's been on the nurse's board for 25 years. The river flows from one generation to another.

Leaves holding summer's warmth in it's fading colors...

The cool weather lasts longer than the dawn, insulating your thoughts, slowing down the pace of life way past getting to work or school. It's like someone stole heat and sunny days; we forget summer's warmth and try to get it in chicken noodle soup or a bowl of chili, the lure of bright colored Halloween personalities, before we settle at the table for Thanksgiving turkey. Passing from one mile marker to the next, brown and black hair replaced by silver, white and grey. A swagger becomes a slurred shuffle, limbs growing tired from carrying dreams that never seem to hatch. Life goes on, but it goes on without us...sometimes...

Thought for The Day - At a Distance watching Time Go By

Dancing Against the Rhythm 12 x 16 Pastels

Look up

The clock changes

9:50 becomes 9:51

as though it were a flit of an eyelash

Too many times I’ve been the observer

At a distance from it ALL

Watching

Wanting to be involved

But at a distance

Held away from the heat of it all

When I’m close

A part of me

Plays the spectator

Like the drama around me

Was acted in a theater in the round

Around me, happening

But me

Sitting in the audience

Safely away from the blood to be spilled

A smile, inappropriately appears on my face

I’m watching and involved

But that spectator reflex knows

It’s 53 minutes past the hour

And the plot resolution

Even with a twist

Is coming to an end.

At a distance watching time go by…