The Rationale

We are but dust, clay; shaped and containing treasure beyond price or value! And yet we invest so much energy into the satisfaction of this flesh, the pleasing of it and really, the experiences that drive and feed our soul! Day after day, telling our stories, singing our songs and dancing, we go about our day in search of... food is satisfying (somewhat), the many entertaining sources of choice tickle our thoughts (eh, not really) and social circle leaves us somewhere between dissatisfied and over satiated!

All of this is...the grand circle of our societies. There are days when I debate whether I will join the discordant chorus of voices; I truly question whether what I write is of any significance. I don't know...and if I stop writing, will it matter?

So for a period of time, I will disconnect...no plan or strategy to it at all. Just go within to determine if there is another way to do this...

Po' Me

Linen 30 x 40 Oils

Linen: A Storm's Coming 24 x 30 Oils

Linen: Remains Calm (in process) 30 x 40 Oils

On any given day, it is a sad reality to be me! Oh I'm not sitting around unshaven and unbathed and drowning in a bottle. No, I clean up nicely, exercise, work a regular job, make light of life's situations and generally enjoy life. But there are those blips, those moments when I realize I can do so much more! I could point the finger at everyone to say we all can, but seriously Eddie Hudson could do better!

I could give a laundry list of tasks - especially since it's the first of the year and "resolution season." But that isn't where it begins. It starts with a decision; it's an understanding of  where I am, what I have done (and didn't) and the direction I want my life to go. I've done it before, made that decision and the steps followed. It required discipline and some blood, sweat and many tears. But it happened and I changed for the better. My challenge to me isn't about doing it in a year or the next six months. IT's about making the commitment to being a better me. To be diligent to accomplish goals and change the direction of my life. Many of the tools and habits are in place and working now. But the decision - the big decision - is to do them consistently! And to ensure I'm contributing my part to the world.

Again and Again

Some days, you look up and half of it is gone! You work at a fever pace, completing tasks, meetings, scheduling additional meetings and running the growing list of "to-do's" down in your head as you progress. But this isn't your focus; your mind is truly...elsewhere. Your thoughts and actions aren't quite aligned and though you are being responsible and "adult," you ignore the damage you're doing to you and really, the whole world!

You aren't the only one. We live in a world where many people spend their days either dragging through the day, rushing through the day (which is funny when you consider the clock doesn't move faster) or simply unenthused about the day. Day after day, again and again. No life, no willingness to search the soul to see if there's anything else worth living for!

And yet there is! Certainly there's entertainment and good food. Sure you can live for the weekend, vacations, "getting away" and taking a break. But those are mere distractions! What about living for love, joy and your positive contribution to this world? What about living and exercising your divine gift to enrich your life and the lives of those around you? What about living and playing and working in ways where each day you wake with joyful anticipation of the day's task?My friend, it may not seem possible, but it is. There are no "one-size-fits-all" formulas but there is a recipe, a remedy that comes specifically from you! And it begins with you taking time to determine what it is and how you can do it! It develops and grows and becomes a vital part of your existence and betters those around you.

Today, take a few minutes to examine what you've always wanted to do, who you wanted to be. If there are multiple things, explore each - you don't have to be limited to one and you certainly don't have to wear yourself out being what others think you should be. Be Y-O-U!

Thought for The Day - Self Examination

A Rhythm of Her Own 18 x 24 pastels

For some, standing in the mirror is an opportunity to berate one's self for physical shortcomings. I bet some the most beautiful people find flaws the rest of us would never see on them! Holding up the "mirror of life" has the same effect! Some changes are within our control, a matter of correcting behavior developed as a reaction to the motives of others. We develop habits and practices that change over time, but our core beliefs remain intact. By "core beliefs" I mean what we think about ourselves.

When you think you are unworthy, you either do things to gain approval or you "prove" you're unworthy by behaving badly. Funny thing about gaining approval; you never really accept the approval because of "who I am." If you're not worthy, no matter how glowing or sincere the compliments, you always consider the parts of you no one else sees.

When you feel unloveable, the same holds true as above: either you try to gain love or your behavior indicates you cannot be loved. Both are pleas for something you are reluctant to receive, that is L-O-V-E. How can anyone love you if you are unloveable? More importantly, how can anyone love you when you don't love yourself?

Life is a funny adventure! And I don't mean comedic humor; I mean in the sense that many people struggle with these and far worse and though we want help, know we should think better about ourselves, individuals live well into their senior years carrying this poor self image.

No solutions today my friend, just observations.

Thought for The Day - A LIttle Deeper

In the dark and cold of the valley, we learn to "lay our burdens down." Sure we want to walk in the sunlight all the time. We want our days to be full of cloudless days and evenings to look like a beautiful watercolor sunset. But because we are human, even under the best of conditions, pain and suffering occur. And if we're careful, we learn a lesson from the good as well as the troubled times.

At times, I find myself fighting the information I'm given. I look at the "man in the mirror" and see this guy who could use a little more humility. I see this guy who, with the best of intentions, is selfish and wants 'what he wants.' I see a man who needs to find comfort in his art and the lessons life is teaching, rather than searching for it on a plate or elsewhere. This is the guy I see in the mirror.

In the darkness of the valley, I find I'm not alone, though my companions are as 'skittish' as I. "Damaged goods," a people who have learned to keep distance from one another. Not so much because we have hurt one another, but someone who looks "just like us," has hurt us. So we keep our distance, afraid to discover we might be the "salve" to heal one another's wounds.

So we dig ourselves a little deeper. In the valley, we sink a little lower.