Hope

The lifeline. The promise of fools, that slender, sliver of light in a dark world. Hope; what keeps us waking each day, trudging through each day, waiting for something more than we have now. Some would say we have too much, but we know that can't be true! If we had what we needed, we would not feel the emptiness and absence. If our "supply" was met, the aching in our heart would not be there.

Hope...like a small child waiting for parents that take a long time to return. Hope...a woman every now and then looking up in the face of a man for a connection. A man desperately searching for a woman that will bear his pain and emotions.

We long for completion, to be whole. We want to be satisfied and find our good reflected back on us. We long for appreciation, to be acknowledged as wise and wonderful!

Hope...

Thought for The Day - Bacteria

"I'm infected!" 

This year has been challenging in that interesting way that if you aren't mindful, you ignore the blessings and make unwise decisions. A series of injuries, flooded basement a couple times this year, broken appliances, repairs and necessary purchases; it would seem that "someone" is trying to get my attention. But again, mindfulness, staying in touch with God, I am aware that "change is inevitable" and in truth, constant. 

We can allow what appears to be difficulty or calamity or misfortune, to alter our steps. I grew up with parents and relatives who observed weather changes and a collection of political events as a 'sign of changing times.' Of course, "the apocalypse" always looms on the horizon. That thought infected me, to the extent, I have had to work hard to ignore that line of thinking. When I say it's a struggle not to view life as an accident waiting to happen, I'm not joking! It's an everyday struggle!

But I've also received a dose of hope and confidence. I've viewed life from the other side, that is, an adventure, an opportunity to grow and progress. When I put my paints away shortly after college, 30 years ago, there was a sense that I might not pick them up again. But there was also this sense that it was an ABSOLUTE MUST to do so! And that same sense of hope drives me on, today!

Yes, I have a dis-ease; it will not allow me to rest! It will not allow me to accept the status quo and to live like everyone else! It drives me to solitude, to contemplation and to sharing "the good news" that a brighter day is coming!

Thought for The Day - A LIttle Deeper

In the dark and cold of the valley, we learn to "lay our burdens down." Sure we want to walk in the sunlight all the time. We want our days to be full of cloudless days and evenings to look like a beautiful watercolor sunset. But because we are human, even under the best of conditions, pain and suffering occur. And if we're careful, we learn a lesson from the good as well as the troubled times.

At times, I find myself fighting the information I'm given. I look at the "man in the mirror" and see this guy who could use a little more humility. I see this guy who, with the best of intentions, is selfish and wants 'what he wants.' I see a man who needs to find comfort in his art and the lessons life is teaching, rather than searching for it on a plate or elsewhere. This is the guy I see in the mirror.

In the darkness of the valley, I find I'm not alone, though my companions are as 'skittish' as I. "Damaged goods," a people who have learned to keep distance from one another. Not so much because we have hurt one another, but someone who looks "just like us," has hurt us. So we keep our distance, afraid to discover we might be the "salve" to heal one another's wounds.

So we dig ourselves a little deeper. In the valley, we sink a little lower.

Thought for The Day - Winter's Nap

Study for Predawn Light #3

"Working Title;" "What?!"

The blanket of snow...

It's been a while since I woke to streets and yard covered in white; air cooled and a biting breeze, coming from the west. Been a while since the cold morning seeped into my little space in the basement, the bare concrete floor radiating cold like ice. It's been a few months since I bundled up in layers of coat, sweater and a few shirts. But on some days, I'm living a perpetual Winter.

Sometimes, I simply need to lie down and take a break from the noise and confusion. I look at the stack of unfinished business, the stuff that's mine and the leftovers from others and I decide the best approach is to back away and regroup. "Give me 5 minutes!" Put my head on the desk and sleep for a bit.

You know, there are times, I'm fiercely aware this world will continue spinning quite well without me... I need my winter blanket and a few minutes sleep...