Po' Me

Linen 30 x 40 Oils

Linen: A Storm's Coming 24 x 30 Oils

Linen: Remains Calm (in process) 30 x 40 Oils

On any given day, it is a sad reality to be me! Oh I'm not sitting around unshaven and unbathed and drowning in a bottle. No, I clean up nicely, exercise, work a regular job, make light of life's situations and generally enjoy life. But there are those blips, those moments when I realize I can do so much more! I could point the finger at everyone to say we all can, but seriously Eddie Hudson could do better!

I could give a laundry list of tasks - especially since it's the first of the year and "resolution season." But that isn't where it begins. It starts with a decision; it's an understanding of  where I am, what I have done (and didn't) and the direction I want my life to go. I've done it before, made that decision and the steps followed. It required discipline and some blood, sweat and many tears. But it happened and I changed for the better. My challenge to me isn't about doing it in a year or the next six months. IT's about making the commitment to being a better me. To be diligent to accomplish goals and change the direction of my life. Many of the tools and habits are in place and working now. But the decision - the big decision - is to do them consistently! And to ensure I'm contributing my part to the world.

Thought for The Day - I'm Not Ready

All my life, I've had aspirations to be different. I knew in high school I didn't want to spend my days in a factory, like my father and the idea of being at someone's office for 40+ hours a week seemed insane! And yet, in spite of my desires, I'm exactly where I don't want to be. I'm certain for many people working, where ever you work, the same holds true.

I signed up for an online business course a few weeks ago and though I looked forward to what I would learn, there was this sense that I wasn't ready. From nearly the first page of reading, I realized I was ill prepared for the class. Certainly, it's a good idea to "know what you don't know," but as an artist, looking to make this stuff work, I have a lot more to learn. Correction: I have a great deal to put into practice.

Quite honestly, I have a great deal to put into practice as a human being. I'm a nice guy, I listen well and think it's vitally important to practice my Christian values, but there's a great deal more to living the life I desire than I'm doing now. I'm not defeated though; sometimes it's best to admit to yourself where you are before you can move to where you want to be. I'm not sure "how long" I'll be in this place, but for the moment, I'm sitting here acknowledging my shortcomings and hoping for a "switch" to flip on and turn this life around.

You are Here!

We are often directed to set goals, track our progress, and make mid-course adjustments where appropriate. But I'm finding out, the goals I've set, though higher than my past or current place, sometimes they seem like they're out of reach or invisible. But then, I'm reminded of the quote from Henry David Thoreau:
  I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary; new, universal, and more liberal laws will begin to establish themselves around and within him; or the old laws be expanded, and interpreted in his favor in a more liberal sense, and he will live with the license of a higher order of beings…If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.


Good. Great! Now the notion is thoroughly planted in our head, what about this very minute? When one's dreams and goals reside in a higher place, the path can, at times, become obscure. Please understand, I don't have this confusion, anxiety, panic and apathy demon chained and subdued, yet. All too often, my thoughts are primarily focused on "THE FUTURE" or the "task list" generated by others.

You ever find yourself forgetting what or why you went in a room? You enter the room, mindful of a million things beside the reason you got out of the chair? Well, this has been a constant problem since I was a small child. Mom would send me in a room to get, for example, a spool of black thread. In the seconds between her telling me and walking into the room, the 'mission' would be gone. I would have to go back and ask "what was I supposed to get?" Of course she called me an old man and strangely, I've simply grown into the character.

So it's important to take a few minutes, hours, days, even, to stop and determine "where am I at this moment?" I mean, honestly, while we want to know where we are, relative to our goal, we also want to examine - and rather critically - is this the path and goal for me, are there alternatives, what lead me to the very place I'm at, at this moment? We also want to examine the multiple paths this very place could lead us, and will those 'roads' ultimately lead to the "castle in the sky."

We've all heard the analogy of the lumberjack's attempt to cut down a tree with a dull axe. Somehow, he's convinced if he continues as he is, and chops harder, the tree will eventually fall. But some wiser comes along, examines his situation and suggests "why not stop and sharpen your axe?" Whether "someone" comes along or not, it never hurts to stop and determine what's going on at that very moment; what nagging thoughts and emotions are you ignoring, in your determination to reach your goal? Examine where you are, now, before you find you've reached "a goal," but not the one you intended.