The Rationale

We are but dust, clay; shaped and containing treasure beyond price or value! And yet we invest so much energy into the satisfaction of this flesh, the pleasing of it and really, the experiences that drive and feed our soul! Day after day, telling our stories, singing our songs and dancing, we go about our day in search of... food is satisfying (somewhat), the many entertaining sources of choice tickle our thoughts (eh, not really) and social circle leaves us somewhere between dissatisfied and over satiated!

All of this is...the grand circle of our societies. There are days when I debate whether I will join the discordant chorus of voices; I truly question whether what I write is of any significance. I don't know...and if I stop writing, will it matter?

So for a period of time, I will disconnect...no plan or strategy to it at all. Just go within to determine if there is another way to do this...

Choices

Soul Dance 8 x 11 colored pencils

A note from my daily journal:

Get going. Eddie! No one’s fault or privilege but your own! You’ve got choices! And whether you choose wisely or foolishly, the choice is always yours. You can choose to love with abandon or cautiously. Right or wrong don’t enter into the picture because you have loved. Receive love the same. Some love as if there no tomorrow and give it everything they have. Others love as if it were their “rainy day” money and they needed to make it last until! But you love and that’s all that matters. Paint, write, and speak with the same caution or abandon; this is the way you choose to do it. Cautiously - "what will my audience think? Am I revealing too much? Should I say 'it' this way?" Or say, write, render it as though you are the pipe line, delivering "the goods" from on high! And you know what? It won't matter whether you were "constricted" or free as the great outdoors! You have delivered and the audience will receive it as we all receive the weather: some will love it, others hate it and still others go on with their day with various degrees of each extreme. But they will go on.

5:02 AM

Entry point. The place where reality is set aside, when I enter the world of imagination and creativity. All the prep work is completed and I'm ready to begin my quest. Any thing in this space is great place to focus; it is a rich environment with stories and tales and adventures! And each day, I am fortunate to enter this place!

No admission fee is charged to take this ride; admission is free! And quite honestly, I visit throughout the day! I "sneak away" from the world of software testing and tan cubicles even while my body remains fixed in the chair, to bring life to this old mind! To write, to draw and paint; these are my passages to an amazing land! Oh, what's so fascinating? What's to be seen there? Skies where clouds rest just above head and water, crystal clear, full of glittering fish, large or small! Beautiful horses, with gleaming chestnut brown hides and white and black. Their "neigh" is loud as a trumpet and their trot like small thunderclaps! There are people busy working, but enjoying every moment of it. Women who love their men and their children and husbands who cherish their wives above everyone else! Music is heard every hour of the day and well into the night. And in this place, joy, peace and love rule the land! The adventure in this land is a result of exploration and it is an endless journey!

Come, go with me one morning! As a matter of fact, I invite you to go any time you are so inclined! Simply step away from the concerns of this world and let your mind take you where joy, love and peace rule!

Thought for The Day - Do it for...

Detail of "Linen - A Storm's Coming" 

You know, there are as many ways to approach this daily practice as there are thoughts in my head. There are equally as many reasons to stop doing it as there are to continue. So I choose to do it. I don't want the reason to stop writing to be I don't have "enough" readers. I don't want the reason to be someone said something insulting or demeaning. The choice to stop has to be significant and that I am making a choice for better. Whatever that is.

You know, I can sit in front of this computer daily, walk the streets of downtown Chicago, or while I'm sweating out my catharsis in the gym, a thousand ideas, thoughts and messages hit me. I can do this writing, journaling and blogging all day. I could start conversations through this outlet that continue into the night, but...

I do it for those who are considering blogging but wonder if they have the right stuff

I do it for the person who reads for a bit of encouragement in general

I do it for my own need to express

I do it as an outlet for my thoughts and emotions

I do it because I don't sing :)

I do it because in a given day, ways to impact the world are limited and everyone needs to express

Thought for The Day - Canvas

I start with a blank canvas

A blank space

A white sheet of paper

Or a white electronic page

What I do with that space...

It comes from "here." That space beneath the surface of my skin. It reaches way beyond reasoning or scientific calculations and if I had to map it, I couldn't. I choose what comes up, but what is there is far more than I could write, paint or draw at one time! There are thoughts, emotions, impressions and snippets that blend. There are moments when 'expectations' prevent my writing; I can fume over "what will ______ think? How will this affect ______ as they read it? Am I pushing the envelope and will people accept the image I'm considering?" On and on, again and again, the "fear" prevents me, but practice keeps me going. And I write and write, draw and paint until my soul says "enough!"

A blank space can be filled with anxiety, but that space is your opportunity to talk about it, draw it, dance it. But ultimately, it is your willingness to share who you are!

Thought for The Day - Connected

We go through life networking with people, socializing, worshipping together, but I'm sure not everyone "fits" in your life like a puzzle piece. Many people have friends they've known for years, but there are some aspects of their life that aren't shared with these friends. It isn't because they don't want to share it, it's just they haven't found a connection "open" to hearing this part of their life.

There are a few people I'm connected to. Actually a very small list of people. I have friends, acquaintances and of course family, but there are very few people who seem open to deep friendship. I share aspects of my identity, occasionally, but very rare. I will tell a friend or my wife about my hopes for the future or what I'm feeling, but it isn't the same. I've often said, I'm the listener; people come to me to be heard. The interesting thing is I think some people would consider us "perfect friends." But if they ever stopped to recall the things I've shared with them, they would find it hard to put their finger on only a few things.

Bonding, connecting, being "knit together" as it was said of David and Jonathan, is a relationship where not every fact is known, but it is a relationship where there is no fear of truth. Being connected to a person, conversations are "bi-directional," meaning both people have time to share thoughts and feelings. At least for my life, I find people are willing to pour out their soul, but rarely do the same people listen.

For me, it's a life-long concern and while I could allow disappointment to shut me down, for the time being, I continue to trudge along, ever hopeful for a person or people who understand the need for genuine connections.

Thought for The Day - Where are You Now?

Challenge!

Sit in a room of your choosing, your home, a restaurant (a great place for stories) or if weather permits, a public place where people are passing by. Fix your gaze on one person, an item or an animal and create a story. It doesn't have to be long or complex, but it is challenging. It may be history, in the sense it is something you know, tell why that item or person is in your life. You might see someone on the street with a look that moves you. You know the look or feel that you do; it would be interesting to see what story develops.

I'm sitting in my "office," my carved out room that would better serve as storage, for the size. But it's my studio, storage and a great place to IMAGINE! I'm fixing my eyes on a heavy brass elephant and it brings back memories! My senior year of college, I would walk from the subway to school and pass a import shop. The place was a little "hole in the wall," not much space and the typical retail space. At the time, I worked a part-time job and didn't make much money, so I avoided too many frivolous purchases. But it was my senior year and in a few months, I would graduate and enter the "full-time world" of 8 - 5 jobs and needing income, a place to stay and whatever else life expected me to be. I walked in a few times and looked around, picking up various items, putting them back after looking at the price. They were, after all "imported" so the prices were fairly high, especially for a guy working a part time job. There were two items I wanted to have: a samurai sword and a brass elephant. And this store had them both. After going in a few times, making mental calculations, determining where I would need to cut back and how much I would have to save to make the purchases, I decided on "this elephant." It was $35 and it was the 'mid-sized' brass elephant they sold. They had elephants that stood 10" or more, but the prices were $75 or higher and my budget and need weren't that big. So I made the purchase. I remember, for years, occasionally pulling out a can of "Brasso" and shining that elephant! I would rub and clean and remove the oxidation so that elephant glowed! It was my pride and joy, a completely frivolous purchase, but one I could hold on to forever! And it has moved with me over the years, from my parents home, my first apartment and my house. It is a constant reminder that everything doesn't have to be practical and reasonable. A reminder that value is where you place it.

Okay, that's my story for today! I would love to hear from you. If you like (and space permits) share your story in the comments section of the blog. Or feel free to send an email with your story. I would love to hear yours! Send it to eddiehudson3@gmail.com.

Thought for The Day - Drawing a Blank

Linen with a little swirl (in process) 24 x 3 oils

An expression that refers to a momentary inability to retrieve one's thoughts, a line of thinking or what one intended to say. Yes, I'm drawing a blank at the moment... what is it I wanted to share? What significant thought, idea or "revelation" came to mind that seemed worth sharing? And it's not only about telling you what I'm thinking; my thoughts turn to the question: "what significance would this have in someone's life?"

Many people have responded since I began writing this daily blog and some merely by "liking" the status on Facebook. But these people and those I never hear from, flash across my mind as God seems to minister to me. The biblical notion: "you are ambassadors of Christ, as if Christ himself were saying 'be reconciled to God,'" comes to mind. I've been ministered to, he shares with me knowledge and insight and I share it with you. Please believe, He never leaves me without some valuable nugget of information. However, some of it is personal and for me. But ultimately, after the work is done in me, I share it with others.

So, yes, this morning, I'm drawing a blank. But believe me, you remain in my heart. Thanks for stopping by. God's richest blessings on you.

Thought for The Day - Pipeline

Living this life, we are bombarded and overloaded with conflicting needs. In a given day, regardless how you try to limit the exposure you have to the "outside world," the sources of entry are beating at your door. But little do we know, we are also a 'source' of input for others.

We are like pipes or conduits where energy in the form of thoughts, feelings and responses flow. Back and forth, all day, each day and even in our dreams, we flow full of information. This energy, this information is not mindless or without emotions, and not every emotion is wrong or sinful. Our lives are full of good and constructive and positive energy. A small thing like - speaking of my country and where I live - streets constructed of concrete and asphalt. Someone had the idea that this material could support an endless supply of vehicular traffic with minimal repairs. Now we have miles of roads that connect to nearly everywhere you would want to go. We have created vehicles that 'could' take us "off road" if we needed, though they aren't quite tough enough to take up rocky climbs as commercials would have us believe. We have offices, where business is conducted nearly 24 hours a day, to support and communicate with other businesses and individual. We are a huge construct of connection and support and need. We are a grid "system."

But it starts with a pipeline, an idea, a concept of connecting. While we don't like to "receive" destructive and negative energy, we should give careful consideration to what output comes from us and what we mindlessly receive. I am a conduit of energy and information and truth. How I choose to manage and disseminate it, is up to me.