The Rationale

We are but dust, clay; shaped and containing treasure beyond price or value! And yet we invest so much energy into the satisfaction of this flesh, the pleasing of it and really, the experiences that drive and feed our soul! Day after day, telling our stories, singing our songs and dancing, we go about our day in search of... food is satisfying (somewhat), the many entertaining sources of choice tickle our thoughts (eh, not really) and social circle leaves us somewhere between dissatisfied and over satiated!

All of this is...the grand circle of our societies. There are days when I debate whether I will join the discordant chorus of voices; I truly question whether what I write is of any significance. I don't know...and if I stop writing, will it matter?

So for a period of time, I will disconnect...no plan or strategy to it at all. Just go within to determine if there is another way to do this...

Thought for The Day - Canvas

I start with a blank canvas

A blank space

A white sheet of paper

Or a white electronic page

What I do with that space...

It comes from "here." That space beneath the surface of my skin. It reaches way beyond reasoning or scientific calculations and if I had to map it, I couldn't. I choose what comes up, but what is there is far more than I could write, paint or draw at one time! There are thoughts, emotions, impressions and snippets that blend. There are moments when 'expectations' prevent my writing; I can fume over "what will ______ think? How will this affect ______ as they read it? Am I pushing the envelope and will people accept the image I'm considering?" On and on, again and again, the "fear" prevents me, but practice keeps me going. And I write and write, draw and paint until my soul says "enough!"

A blank space can be filled with anxiety, but that space is your opportunity to talk about it, draw it, dance it. But ultimately, it is your willingness to share who you are!

Thought for The Day - Please, Can You be Someone Else?

"I know that's who you think you are, but I need you to be someone else! I don't like when you're that way!"

Family and well meaning friends often make requests: "Can you change your identity? Who you are rubs me wrong. I want you around but only if you change this, this and oh, by all means, change that!" We experience this in employment and in neighborhoods, people give you a cold shoulder when your personality doesn't match the status quo. We are given the impression that if you don't tow the line, you are an outsider. It's no wonder people don't disappear into the darkness of the arctic for trying to fit in. 

I'm sure "their" intentions are well meaning; they want to be comfortable around you and want others to feel the same. But the path to "mutual comfort" should begin with acceptance. And above all, the ruling motive should be love. Too often, we aren't tall enough, thin enough, we are the wrong race or too "cultural" in our persona. As a result, we don't fit the environment, and the "environment" stands on the verge of spewing us out. 

But it's okay they we don't fit in. As a matter of fact, I think it's correct to be yourself. Those that 'fit in' are the ones who are invisible and the greatest collaboration occurs when people agree to bring their unique views to the table. No, by all means, don't fit in; don't conform. By all means, be you!

Thought for The Day - My Journey is not Yours

Soul Dance 8 x 11 Colored Pencils

I've never struggled with this; the logic has always made sense to me. "Everyone can't walk in your shoes," that thought has been part of me as far back as I can remember. As a child, I could sit and look at a book for hours! And as I learned to read I could read book after book. My mother put me in tow with cousins when I was about 8 or 9 years old, to go to the library, a good 6 blocks from our apartment. And what was I reading? Books on Black history, slavery and (my childhood hero) Frederick Douglas. Sure I liked playing with the many cousins who lived nearby, but very early on, I figured out, no matter how close they are to you, people choose to take advantage of kindness and tell your secrets. While I won't say that drove me to the "inner world" of reading and art, it contributed to it.

My outlet isn't yours...

I have a great friend, we met years ago as young men, attending a fairly large church nearby. He owned a car detail shop, where he would clean cars by hand. Now the business was located in the parking structure of a major catalog company at the time, and his enclosed garage within it, was in the basement. But it was always his dream - and still is - to have a location on a busy street. He's an outgoing type, a naturally kind, generous and friendly guy. Years ago, we compared personalities when he asked me to render a building design for him. He wanted to sit with me and tell me step-by-step what he wanted the design to look. I told him that isn't my work style; I prefer you tell me what you want, allow me the time to render a few ideas and then present them. He didn't get it; he said he liked for people to watch him "clean their cars" and show him what he was doing wrong. Honestly, I never believed he wanted that, though, in his head at the time, it made perfect sense. Now I could clean my car by hand; Saturday evenings was the time I would clean my wife's and my car, cleaning them inside and out. I would have jazz music  or maybe Gospel music playing from one car while I cleaned the other. But I always preferred that I have that time alone. I really didn't want someone around telling me "you missed a spot," or "you really should use a chamois rather than a terry cloth towel because ______. " No, let me have this time to do my work as I see fit.

I watched my children as they grew up and wondered what their outlets would be. My daughter has a wonderful, caring personality and speaks well in public settings, but that isn't her "thing." My middle son, when he was 3 or 4, could play for hours with Hot Wheel cars, but he always wanted to build cranes and pulley systems - using my weight bench "grrrr!" When he was about 6, he had a list of 'jobs' he wanted to do, but the one that seemed to get the most attention was "I want to be a working man!" Words he would say with force and his hands stretched out like he was holding a bunch of tools in both. While my daughter didn't have an idea what she wanted to do until she went to college, my middle son figured it out by his freshman year in high school. Both are bold and willing to try out different areas. When I ask my youngest what he wants to do - and believe me I've been asking for a long time - now he says "I haven't figured it out yet." Actually, I'm sure I know what he would love to do, but it's hard to agree that you will spend the remainder of your life in a room "playing video games."

I've found multiple ways to express myself and so very often, it doesn't require that I utter a word. But words, images, concepts and viewpoints are intricate to my way of contributing to the world. Final analysis? Be. Create the means by which you will contribute to this world and surely it will fit in the grand scheme of this world.

Thought for The Day - Custom Made Shoes

Elastic - pastels

You enter a store where shoes are sold and whether you have in mind a style, a color and you know your shoe size, your choices are limited. As a matter of fact, you can go from store to store, especially if affordability and options aren't found at the first retailer. Your choices remain small and placing your foot in a shoe, you fit what the designer and manufacturer decided is best for the masses. But you are an individual, with individual needs and wants.

Years ago, I found out I have wide feet, like triple E wide. I was a skinny kid with feet that couldn't fit in the shoes found in the typical kids' shoe store. Certain athletic shoes were off limit because they were made for the 'average' kid. From childhood, I've  struggled with finding shoes that fit me and for many years, as manufacturers move away from wider widths, I've learned to adjust, meaning I've learned to adjust my step so my feet don't hurt as much! It's one of my daily goals to kick off my shoes!

We are individuals, not mass produced beings. We are so unique, while we may have similar likes, two people. born at the same time, living in the same home can have dramatic differences in personality. And though we may think it's easier to wear the persona of others, BE YOU! All too often, we see the accomplishments of others, take note of the ease in which they operate or the easy way they converse and we think: "I wish I could be like them!" No, you don't; their struggles and desires brought them to this point. The same holds true for you.

Find, Operate, Function from your own shoes; never wear the shoes of others. The journey isn't over and even when you accomplish some of the things you hope for, there remains so much more. But you will never be comfortable in the shoes of others!

I’ll say It (paint it, draw, put it in rhyme) – His Words

Been at this for a while now, and whether it’s put in electronic form, scribbled in spiral bound pages, sketch, spread in bright hues, I must say it. I have to express it.

I have often said it – mistakenly – to see what the audience will say, but when I say it because it’s in me, when I treat it as nectar and salve for the world, I am at my best. When I say it – express light – from the depths of my heart, it is the power of shaping, creating, and formation.

There are times when I get stuck, but that mental state is only control, trying to determine the reaction. I can’t determine the reaction; I can only deliver what is here, inside me.

This is me; this is my expression. Eddiehudson3, bringing the words and images that my heart ponders. In person, I am quiet, reserved, almost aloof, but in my images, the words written, I am a prolific, wealth of truth and light.