Your Trick Bag

Old leather or new; bound up and all of the goodies rolling around in it, clinking around as you move through life. The 'stuff' of some of it touches other parts and exchanges power and energy. Others aren't as giving, and wait for you to reach in your hand to pull them out, unchanged. They will release upon your verbal command, or in the way you apply their power. Some elements are deadly, but sometimes, the solution to "life's problems" is The End.

We look and observe these limited bodies and wrongly perceive that we are as limited. But a story told before it came to pass, is that God is plentiful and stores his best in "jars of clay." He places in skin and bones, what cannot be named, will not stay confined. And when it is time, he not only reclaims it, he makes it special and unique and it more than it was when it rattled around in these old skin bags!

We are more! Far more than the skin portrays. But in placing the divine in flesh, Flesh is more than we would be. We are made in God's image and placed in bodies, on the ground, next to one another. We are permitted to love and hate, to cherish and destroy. And in living this life, we experience, both light and dark; the two cross lines and exchange energies in ways that defy our short-sighted cultural biases.

My friend: Look up and Live!

Sleep, Dream

Reality is okay, but the blend of waking ideals is full of conflict and disillusion. Certainly, there are those who are living their lives, fulfilling their dreams. But for the most part there are as many, if not far more, who are in despair. For them, dreams are no longer pleasant, but sour, dried up and lifeless cancer cells in their body, slowly draining the life out of them. Dreams have become reasons to be easily agitated and on always on edge. And unknown to them, it isn't that they have given up on their dreams as it is, they have surrendered hope and courage to act.

So go back to sleep my friend. Crawl back in bed and sleep until dreaming becomes your reality. You came out of the cocoon too early, helped out by a well meaning, sleepless dreamer who was also "rescued" before their time. Allow your dream life to regain its life giving energy and to feed your will and your mind. Allow your reason to be influenced by the same energy that formed the universe and fuels exploration, discovery and innovation. That energy that allows a child to play for hours, to build "imaginary" castles and be doctors, dancers and warriors, that "stuff" still resides in the very marrow of your bones! It's in your Deoxyribonucleic acid - your DNA! And though it may seem like "the devil" holds the deed to your soul, he could no more "rent it," than hold you down! No, what has occurred is you have forgotten that dreams are meant to be lived! And that dreams are the very stuff of life!

Go back to bed; sleep a little longer. Lie in the comfort of possibility! And stay there until you are truly alive again!

Out of The Raw

Phoenix 18 x 24 pastels

Spinning Blue Orb 18 x 24 pastels

Filtered Divinity 12 x 18 pastels

Rise! 18 x 24 pastels

We try to describe it

And in truth

We should revel in the power that is greater description

Words

Don't fail

They form

They capsulize

Colors

And descriptions of color

Emotions

Concepts

Inventions

Are

Our way of holding it

Managing it

Riding it like a creature we tamed

And yet

You can examine it

Study it

From now 'til

And it changes

Grows larger than you can tame

Again

And it changes you

Because this _____

Is greater

Untamed

And will be

When you

As you know "you"

Are someone/somewhen else

Thought for The Day - Slap, Boom!

The sound of anger, aggression and force! Personally, that's not my style but everyone is prone to moments of angry expressions. We all have a need to express emotions that are, for the most part, destructive or at best "passionate." There are times when the calm of the day is hardly what I want and without notice, I need to get out of the quiet of office space and just go walk a few blocks or so to stomp the concrete!

Again, this is not my typical nature. Quiet is; so much so, one of my coworkers asked me if I was okay because I was so quiet. But I am, mostly; we have a few "talkers" in our row and it isn't unusual for a conversation to be going on. But I'm more of a listener.

Certain topics get me going, though I tailor my contribution to a discussion based on the audience. Certain times with painting, I can feel the push of this energy coming through as I apply paint to the canvas. It's a swish, boom, swish-pop of the brush bouncing off the canvas, the canvas actually moving like the surface of a basketball being dribbled. My thoughts don't have to be frustration or angry, but in that moment, there is a strong push, a drive to get this energy transferred to the canvas! And so it goes.

One thing I've learned is there are forces beyond comprehension. There are unseen energies and forces around us all the time. Disturbance, trouble and a bit of turmoil aren't always evil or destructive. At times, we need to move with the energy and do so without causing harm to others. I am careful with my words when I feel the need to let this energy flow because this force seems bent on hurting. No, I choose to love and similarly, express my energy.

Thought for The Day - Starting

It begins...

Lift

Move

Wiggle

Stumble

Fall

Adjust

Try

Again
   and
Again
   and
Again

Sometimes I sit and stare at the canvas. Some days that's hard to do, so I glance over my shoulder. I look at the paint drying on the palette. I glance at the top left hand corner for the beginning point, where the inspiration began. I pull out my sketch book and get stuck with the choices...but it isn't until I put paint to brush and brush to canvas, that anything happens. Thought without action, intent with movement is an unknown factor.

But it starts with the intention, the desire; sometimes we can't articulate what it is. It's an impulse, a twitch in our head. But by all means start, try, stumble, fall, cry, moan, laugh and continue!

Thought for The Day - Moving Energy Around

The Phoenix 18 x 24 (22 x 26 framed) pastels

It aint a pretty thing, this process of growing and progressing, but the "finished product" will be amazing!

We are all going through it, though some seem to do it with additional grace and style. But we are all growing and maturing and getting to know ourselves. For the most part, we spend our days chasing "the rabbit" around the track, and in doing so, we grow frustrated, disappointed, disillusioned and tired. We see the futility and vanity of living and question the purpose of breathing, eating and trying to be in relationships. But in all of this, there is a moving toward men and women who can be better stewards of the lives we're given! Mind you, I say this of those who are doing the "internal work," as well as those who work it out in the physical. Not perfect individuals or the lazy, who wouldn't lift their head off the pillow if they could help it. But those who hold on to that spark of hope, who secretly believe that life and their existence is more than occupying space.

I say this succinctly so there's no confusion: move that energy about!  Whether you make progress today or not, whether your plans are closer or far away DON'T. GIVE. UP!!!! Keep moving it, keep pressing forward toward your goals! Even if you wake today and feel so depressed and hopeless that you're ready to join the folks hanging on the corner - DONT! Sit in your frustration and let it work it's way through your system. Let the energy build and feel like it's tearing you up inside. Because in truth, that's exactly what it's doing! It is tearing down the internal barriers - fear, doubt, status quo - and making room for the "real you!"

Thought for The Day - Brick Wall

"I've hit a brick wall." I don't have to say the words because I feel it in my soul. It would be wonderful to hit it as a result of weeks or months of constant creativity, but no, this is a result of the opposite. I get to points where writing and rendering hit a snag, face a sharp right turn or in this case, a brick wall and the flow all but stops. I can write about it, think about it, but quite honestly it is the "ugly" emotions that draw the air out of my lungs.

Let me give you a closer glimpse into this struggle: I have goals, dreams and aspirations. They have never gone too far from me. If I never picked up a brush or wrote another word, I believe the bricks would collapse on me! There is a sense of panic, a sense that if I don't do something creatively, I could drop dead. It's funny, with age, I can anticipate the feeling; I can see it coming from a few "miles" away. When I go days, or as it has been, from one weekend to three or more, without painting, there is a sense of loss, an absence. Again it is painful, an ache in my bones. The brick wall is real because it says: "You can't go any further; your dreams will not be realized." Now that's when I know it's time to set aside the demands on my time and carve out a couple hours to exercise this gift!

One way to overcome this sensation is to tap into other resources. I draw strength from the creativity of others as well. A song, graffiti on concrete and brick walls, the designs in a tie, sources that vibrate my own creative flow. Since childhood, I've loved jazz music, even though it wasn't the music of my parents. The message woven into the notes and sounds coming from a piano, guitar, upright bass, horn and drums, is like an intravenous "link" for me. The years where I would not write or paint, this music stirred a range of emotions for me. There were times I would cry at the sound of a song or get so excited about a song's arrangement, I wanted to share what I heard. But most people don't appreciate the work of composers and arrangers, so I would sit quietly, listening to my inspiration.

There's a painting sitting on the easel asking to be completed. There are two pastel renderings on drawing boards, pleading for equal time. And there's a stretched canvas and a rectangle of stretcher bars awaiting canvas and then paint. Sometimes, I have to simply realize I don't want weeks or months to go by without exercising creativity and amazingly, I find time and energy to do so. My "will" is my wrecking ball when facing this brick wall. Thank you Lord!

Thought for The Day - Shhh! We're Talking Now!

A Rhythm of Her Own 18 x 24 pastels

We say it, dance it, arrange it in prose. Many say it in strange colors and images and you tilt your head and say "my five year old could do that!" He does and you don't hear it still. The message continues to flow and your ears are full of wax: a combination of your sweat and oil, the fruit of your labor limit your hearing. 

We write it in stories, sing it song, strum it on a guitar and yet your dull ears can't perceive a thing! When we put it on the large or small screen, if isn't scintillating, you turn away, far too accustomed to sensationalism, without truth. But we say it again, and again, and again.

It is our mission to repeat phrases, reuse words, splash the dullness of lives with the brightness of reds, yellows and ebonies! We have been tasked to bring messages to this world, to get your attention, to change your mind! And though you try to ignore us, we are clearly seen and heard by those with a yearning to know. Those whose hearts have been broken, whether the offense is minor or major, yet they ache for healing...those are the one's who perceive. 

Our work is never done because there will always be one or two or many who don't get it. And we continue, from generation to generation, declaring this good news.

Are you ready to listen?

Thought for The Day - The Energy needs Space

The Phoenix 18 x 24 pastels

I’m running, I know I am; I can feel the need to be elsewhere and here at the same time. But I need to allow the space and energy to move as needed; my body and soul struggle to keep thoughts and feelings in check, to rein in the demands I make. 

Is there enough space for all the energy? These thoughts, these ideas and plans, they seem to be bouncing off one another in an effort to have priority. But no one idea is preeminent at the moment; just the need to arrange the space in my head in such a way I can be productive. And the idea of being productive takes the lead, opening my heart and mind to pathways unexplored.

It is a daily struggle, the need to order thoughts and desires, to spend nearly 10 hours away from my main interest. And yet, I have to maximize the time before and after, creatively. It is this discipline, this bending of the rules that instructs and makes stronger. 

Thought for The Day - The Communication

Soul Dance (in progress) 8 x 11 colored pencils

The power of words! They are like the building blocks of our world; the communication of far deeper concepts and if we don't know how to express what's there, it doesn't lessen it's power on us! From the words, the formation of sounds that equal thoughts, ideas, feelings and impressions, we increase our understanding and the unfathomable.

Images are the shapes and colors we use to hinge our thoughts upon as well. Whether it's the face of your loved one or a tree, we know through our six senses, the sixth being our ability to filter and catalog the other five senses.

The other day, my wife apologetically stated that she doesn't understand abstract art: my work is abstract. I told her it's okay and went on to draw a correlation between abstract art and patterns in clothes. Colors, shapes and patterns communicate thoughts, feelings and even expectations. We don't understand to the degree we can easily articulate, but we do "get it." Consider the smile of your child or your beloved; whether you know why they're smiling, the fact that they are smiling, warms your heart. Or, depending on circumstances, you may think the smile hides a hidden agenda or perhaps sarcasm. The same can be said about a hand gesture, a frown or someone looking away when you meet for the first time. A thousand different impressions occur in a simple human exchange.

The power of communication is that it goes deeper and further than recording facts and figures. It is our means of conveying life!

Thought for The Day - The Nitty Gritty

Yes, an old phrase, if you're under 40, you know nothing about it! (smile) It means getting down to the details, the fine, confusing, truth revealing details.

Let's get to it. This art thing; can't state enough that this is love, but this goes beyond everyone's definition of love. The details, looking at reflections of light on someone's face, seeing the fine details of skin, observing the depth of details of granite...the list goes on. But that's the details I hold on to, it's the images and details I see without trying, sitting on the train, the kitchen table and anywhere shapes, colors and textures occur.

Thought for The Day - Changes

Phoenix 18 x 24 pastels

How much of our updating, revamping, swapping out the old for the new, is external? How often do we 'change' and oh so fundamentally remain the same? If the constant changes in life leave us unchanged, then what does that say about our character? Is it a solid iron being incapable of changing?

We sit in a seat on our patio, watching the trees bud, the breeze moving the branches and twigs. The buds become leaves, green and full and the temperature warms up and the sun hangs in the sky longer, until we see shelter from it all. But soon the wind changes and the leaves as well; they become brown, orange and red and fall, leaving the trees bare once again. But in all the changes for the tree, it has grown; it's gained more branches, veins and it's trunk, thicker. Even if you trim the tree, it continues to grow fuller...funny how that happens.

Difficulty, hardship, struggle, even tragic loss has an effect on each of us. A person cannot remain innocent and unfettered by this world. Some say we should not operate from our 'ego,' instead from our heart and soul. But our ego serves to protect us, albeit, 'over-compensate,' at times. And yet, in the final analysis, we will have lived life as best we could, some epic fails and moments of pure ecstasy. And if remain open to the many lessons and experience life brings, we are as fluid as mercury and solid as an iron statue.

Peace

Be.

Thought for The Day - Originality

Running the Sky 12 x 18 pastels

"Sometimes, you gotta get in the basket and see where the wind takes you!"

"C'mon, we're going for a ride!"

Early morning, sleep is barely out of my eyes and yet I am determined to allow whatever dreams and their cryptic, poignant messages, to carry me through the day. Each day I wake, each day is opportunity to be 'me.' Not a better me, though I strive for it, but 'me,' the guy who likes listening to music, loves the challenge of bending light into patterns on paper and drinks in the beauty of each day. I wake each day, suppressing the urge to crawl back in the bed, curled in a dreamland where whatever battle I'm about to face, is far away.

It's original, the mark I make, the blend of colors chosen, because the energy generated never stays the same. Some days I'm high in the sky, riding the waves of energy where my cousins and them can't touch. Not because I'm more, but because I'm free and I am me. The voice, the tone, the blend of words, all my own. And when I come down to earth, when I settle to the ground and my feet blend with earth, my roots run deep, sprouting in new places and new faces.

I wish you could see what I do when the colors flow. There is far more (quantity + quality) than I and you can ever fathom. But let's try to bring it up and out anyway!

Thought for The Day - Manipulating Fire

The Phoenix 18 x 24 pastels

I haven't rendered this one yet and if I draw the image, I'm not sure it would include hands juggling the fireballs. But here's the thought: this matter, this energy, this "stuff" I hold in my figurative hands, it's mine to control and utilize wisely. At times, I am overwhelmed at the responsibility as well as the sense of the energy going from one hand to the other. It is mine, it is in me; the only guidance given: "use it wisely." Okay now what?

I see the needs of many and without warning, connections are made. You enter the lives of people and find connections and bonds formed. They find solace in between my ears and a place to receive healing. I find a vital use of this energy and a way to make my life count for something while I'm here. The only sense of pride or ego, is feeling good that someone is warmed and loved. And yet, more lies just beyond my grasp; I extend my hand to absorb additional energy, wondering what do I do with this now? It is incorporated, sometimes, seeming like it's disconnected and not a good blend. But eventually, the new energy melds with the old and I'm holding and turning and juggling far more energy.

In my mind, I am still that small child who banged on the window, trying to prevent a guy from beating his girlfriend. My mom tells that story from time-to-time, how, as a 3 year old, I stood at the window as neighbors gathered in front of the house and some couple stood out front, the guy trying to beat his woman into submission. I'm sure I cried, not able to stop it; that's one of my fears, that I can't get to someone or can't help. But I have to try, I've got to. That is my life, my connection to this world. Save someone.

Save someone.

Thought for The Day - Rise

Phoenix 18 x 24 pastels

Rise! 18 x 24 pastels

When the night passes, it is your time to shine...

It really has become a habit to wake before the sun rises. Even after long drives that stretch from one the beginning of one day and nearly into the next, I am compelled to rise before the sun. There is something about the solitude of that time of the morning, waking, writing, exercising, painting, drawing and allowing my mind to cross the expanse of light; my soul soars at the opportunity!

And as it is, some days are challenging! Often, the expectation that this 'just another day' full of challenges and setbacks makes me want to sleep just a little longer. But at this point, no matter how deep the sleep or intricate the dreams are (I love a good 'puzzle'), sleep falls away and I'm up, preparing to face another day.

This is a journey, a chasing of a life, of dreams to manifest and the revelation of soul. As the night passes, it is your time to rise!

Thought for The Day - Useful Energy Tips

Open Portal 12 x 18 pastels

In a moment, in a flash opportunities, insight and dreams come and go. We are always on the verge of becoming as great as we believe we can and remaining where we are. Every decision, every thought is the seed of the mundane as well as becoming the solution to someone's problem. I've seen this dichotomy since childhood, how easy it is to get caught up in commonplace drama, especially the type where we waste emotional energy and never solve. And yet, we pine away for a world, a life that's peaceful and fruitful.

Why not expend more energy on dreaming and imagining the life you want for you and yours? Why not imagine people living together, harmonious and loving? Could it be possible? With the death of Nelson Mandela, many people will consider what we know about his life's struggles, fighting apartheid in South Africa, going to prison for it and eventually becoming that nation's president. But consider what made him rise to the level of notoriety: he had a dream, an idea, an "ideal." And I believe there are far more of us who want a world of peace and endless resources for all, than those who want everything for themselves. We may 'think' - i.e. remain fearful - that our resources our scarce and being squandered, but what we really hope is that we will learn to use our resources wisely. We also hope new solutions for old problems can be discovered and implemented. And yet...

...each morning, we wake, frustrated by the day's journey before our feet touch the floor. Reluctantly we rise, already pouring good mental and emotional energy out of our being, wasting it on things we will do and yet hate. Some would say "love what you're doing." That doesn't really work for me, so I'm suggesting this: do what must be done, give today's mundane and contemptible tasks the energy it needs and no more. But rather than concentrate on how much you despise your life, imagine it being better. You know "stacks of money" wont make life better for you; you know it and I know it. But the wise use of the energy we already have can brighten yours as well as the lives of everyone. Use the "money" between your ears wisely. Invest it in dreaming and creating a world where everyone is fed, clothed and healthy. Invest it in dreaming of a world of beauty and harmonious living.

Thought for The Day - Across

A Seed 8 x 11 Pastel

Took a road trip this weekend, a six hour overnight stay to Missouri to see my son. Now growing up, this was the extent of my yearly vacation trips when my parents piled up the car, visiting relatives in Kansas City, MO. But as a father of my own children, we took trips to Virginia for four years, taking my daughter back and forth to school. I fell in love with the mountains and the elevations. The roads seemed smoother - they actually are - and with the grand view as the car climbed a hill or you reached the top and looked down over the valley: SPECTACULAR! But Illinois is relatively flat and depending on what's on your mind, your thoughts become flat and monotonous as well. Missouri can be a bit scenic with it's elevations but for the most part, it's flat as well. Boring, right?

Where I am in at the moment, the life of my family and factors beyond my ability to describe, the scenery seemed exhilarating! The road is very familiar, traveled since I could remember and I could probably do it with my eyes closed. But it wasn't nostalgia, recalling road trips counting horses seen along the way. And it wasn't counting the number of signs for Merramec Caverns, either. No, it was SEEING ACROSS...

The sky, spread from where I sat, behind, before and on every side.
The lives of families and individuals in homes on the road side, connected to families, farms and apartment buildings I would never see from the roadside.
Truckers on long and short hauls, earning a living and a hundred thousand decisions made every fraction of a second.
Retired couples driving down the road, a life full of children in their rearview, parents on the other side and relatives on their road ahead.
Restaurants and diners, workers cooking, cleaning and serving hundreds in their lifetime and never realizing who they are sharing love with a plate of eggs, bacon and pancakes.
Water, mixed with concrete mix, becoming solid, hard and supporting millions of tires and lives for countless years.
Moisture, frozen and appearing white and grey and black on the road and hillside...

Across sky, land and lives, a connection exists, so integrated and complex whether one person or molecule should 'disappear,' not one second or emotion is lost. Everything remains intact no matter how many of us come and go.

We never really leave 'this place;' we are intimately connected to one another, whether we live in love or hate. For there exists a bond to all that only appears when we decide to open our eyes.

Thought for The Day - The Color of Music, The Sound of Red

Of a feather 18 x 24 Pastel

Music

Color

Rhythm

Radiance

As a child, Jazz was not my parents music, it was mine. I grew up listening to Soul music or R&B. It was the music my mom played on a Saturday morning, cleaning house. Sunday mornings were gospel music played on the radio on the way to church, while at church or on the way home. This was the "main stay," the bread and butter, if you will. But Jazz music? That was my own style. I mean as early as I could remember, the sound of a trumpet howling or a saxophone wailing, with a drumbeat, a piano and bass playing, that was my style of music. And whether upbeat or mellow, I loved jazz music.

I loved colors and there was not much more exciting than a box of 16 crayons. Funny, I always felt like the box of 32 or 64 was extraneous; felt like Crayola was going overboard! Silver, bronze and gold felt like someone was trying too hard to please. But various shades of blue and reds, yellow and orange? I could work that box! And when I got my first set of water color paints, I was on my way!

Music is heard even now. In my head, there's always a beat going on. It combines with the sound of cars going by, this late part of the night. I hear the hum of the computer, the beat of my typing and it's all a wonderful melody. Then there are the colors. Blues, oranges, reds...pure heaven.

It's all energy...a wonderful buzzing and thrill to my senses...and it all speaks volumes to my soul. No, correction, it's all a reflection of my soul!

Thought for The Day - Color Your Thoughts

Filtered Divinity

Bright Reds,

Glowing Oranges,

Shimmering Pinks,

Do your thoughts shine? Are they luminescent, holding light and energy and promise?

Do your emotions reflect a blue so deep, the darkest ocean is no comparison?

It's okay, and it's all good.

We are made to reflect and shine as emerald green and silvery white.

Our heart is a container of the spectrum of lights and dark and a constant shifting of light and energy.

Pull out your child's crayon box,

Pour it on a table before you,

It doesn't compare to the range of colors within you.