Thought for The Day - Start of the Day

Fresh Opportunity...

It's dark, but it's a new day. This time of the year, the birds are sleeping in at this point in the morning. The only noise I hear are occasional trucks rumbling down the street or a car. But this is my time to quietly reflect. This is my time to pour out my soul in the best ways: on paper or on a canvas. In the sanctuary of this solitary place, in the quiet, I find peace before moving into the world for service.

I can imagine it is this way for many, rising early in preparation for a new day. My way of starting the day is as individual as can be, and I'm certain it is the same for many. I was told years ago that a "Christian" should rise early to spend time reading the Bible and pray and I tried it for many years. But I spent a lot of that time trying to stay awake; the "devotion" was less than sincere. This method is no less sacred or "devoted;" I am more committed to this process as I was the maintaining of man's interpretation of God's word. And the remainder of my day finds me as devoted to the cause of Christ as I've ever been.

It is the individual's responsibility to carry out his mission in life. It is each person's responsibility to see their way through this life, exercising one's individuality and service to both God and man. And it begins with a commitment, a desire to do so. It is maintained by constant vigilance and discipline of self. When a person learns to master self, they learn the value of life.

Thought for The Day - Phases...of the Moon

I'm Listening 24 x 36 Oil painting

Silver light over head
Tonight it is bright
Tomorrow it's gone
Hidden by clouds and mystery
Next week, no glow at all
Beating a ragged path across the sky
Year in and Year Out...

The patterns of our lives are too large and expansive to track, but we can perceive today's rhythm. And tomorrow, next week and three years from now, it changes. At times we are the master of our destiny and come too many sunny or cold days, we are changing our climate like migratory birds!

The phases of our lives are greater than crawling, walking upright and eventually bent over; we are multi-leveled beings, driven and tossed by the whims of love, greed, anger and hate. And just when we think we will never settle down, we look up and find we've been sitting in a comfy chair for far too long.

It is the phase(s) of our life.

Thought for The Day - Habits and Patterns

I guess you can never be free of all your habits, especially the bad ones. But you can observe the pattern of your behavior and compensate. It's a life long struggle and one I work at daily.

Thought for The Day - A New Day

I'm Listening

We pray and hope for it, not necessarily for dawn as in the sun rising and "allow me to survive this night." No, we pray for a "new day" as in a turnaround of our lives. Not everyone feels this way, some are content and live life fully regardless of the resources they have or don't. But this is about those of us who aren't "there," yet, who yearn for a change in their situation and for those who realize the change occurs within. There are those of us who realize we haven't used our resources as well as we should and even now, becoming good stewards of God's riches is a struggle. It isn't squandering or purely selfish motive that dictate our actions, but neither is it striving for the highest good intended by God.

It is a daily discipline that begins for me using the creativity entrusted to me. For the time being, it is used in writing, communicating a word or message to those who read my blog. It is giving voice to feelings that come from me, but mirror the feelings of others. And yet, for all my creativity in this medium, there is so much more to do. There is a burning question in my mind each day: have I used what is in me to provide light to others? I might do a good job, but I know there is so much more to do. I need a "new day."

A New Day always seems to be a little beyond that carrot on a string held out in front of me. It doesn't exist in a paycheck or even millions in the bank, though income is a result of it. No, the New Day is a way of living,  a discipline and a joy of life. It is expression that is purposeful and timely. It is giving myself to my work and to those who need it. And above all, it is aligned with God's will for my life.

A New Day.

Thought for The Day - Rubbing the Sleep from Your Eyes

My evening routine: come in after work, grab a snack before dinner - breaking a mom's cardinal rule, except it doesn't ruin my appetite - eat dinner, fall asleep on the couch, squeeze in a little gaming, get clothes together for the next day and go to bed. Pretty much each week night, the routine is the same. Except, since 2009, when I begin painting and drawing, I've wanted the evenings to be filled with drawing and painting. Can you imagine being 'haunted' all that time with a desire that you, yourself seem incapable of fulfilling? I have my evenings, where I make it into my studio and get to the work, and there is the weekend. But I know the value of doing the work when it is begging to be done!

I would love to think last night would be a new routine, but I know my tendencies all too well! I started my normal routine, making it through dinner a nap quickly to follow, but through the process, I could see in my head the painting on the easel. I could see the colors I wanted to paint and the movement it would take. All of that hovered in my head like a pleasant reminder of the work to be done. Well I had my nap and not as long as I thought I needed. I woke with only 15 minutes rest and went to work. It was time well spent and though I expected my sense of dread for the next day to kick in, any moment, I made it through a good two hours of working.

I know exactly what I want for my life and would like to believe I am on the path to it. I will take last night and use it as a reminder of what I can do when I focus. And hopefully, I am moving down that path at a better pace. Thank you Lord!

Thought for The Day - Patience, Son

Linen with a swirl

Antsy! Like a child waiting for their birthday party. Like a groom waiting for his honeymoon. On pins and needles, can barely stand still. But the process isn't complete and there's work remaining.

A young lady I taught in Sunday School a long time ago, announced to the world that she's a visual artist. She explains in the many social media, her process of creating as "play" and her creativity involves trying out forms and struggling with the "love/hate" relationship of the process. Same here! Since it takes me "forever" to complete one piece, no matter how simple or complex, large or small, there are times I have to place the piece out of sight, to avoid tossing it in the trash! The current work, "Linen with a swirl," seems like it's taking a long time and every stroke seems like a repeat of the last. I can see progress, but at times, it isn't enough. But this is where patience is exercised, this is where I have to allow the "child" to grow.

There are many processes and expectations in my life. I am forever a "dreamer," always hoping for a better day. There are times I wonder will I die with incomplete dreams and so often, it doesn't matter. For now, the dream of creating is realized and this platform is my gallery.

Peace.

Thought for The Day - Slippin'

Triplicate (in process) pastels

"If you fail to plan, you plan to fail."

Yeah...that 'happens.' And it happens to most of us. It isn't that we are without desire of that we don't want to achieve: success, recognition, or live better. But this "planning" and "following through" stuff? Well, that doesn't happen.

So many of us spend our days, miserable at jobs, anxious for the weekend and looking forward to retirement. For the first (full-time jobs), that usually "just" happens; we 'end up' at some company because we applied at 50 of them, we had some skills they could use and they were willing to pay us. We get benefits and enough money to stay miserable. For the weekend and retirement, we hope "it just happens." We hope on the weekend, we will do "something" that's exciting, but usually, we have a bunch of personal stuff to complete, since we're too tired in the week. And then there's retirement; that nagging sinking feeling that the government mandated time is too far away and that we are ill prepared for a fixed income. All-in-all, with all this stuff happening, I think we are digging ourselves a wonderful hole to sink into!

You know, there's something to be said for the people who live their life in spite the warnings and corrections of well meaning 'advisors.' Especially those who achieve. Their "planning" is worked out in their  head, their actions carry out on a daily basis, a practice that allows them to be prepared for an 8 - 5, the weekends and retirement if they choose. But maybe I'm romanticizing a life I'm not living...

Slippin'...it just happens.

Thought for The Day - New

Prep work...

For some, this is a new day, not a new year. Because we are in a "Western society," it is acknowledged as January 1, 2014, but many are resistant to the significance of the calendar. It is, after all, based on an approximation of the number of years since the Jesus, the Christ was incarnated. That thought is abhorrent to some, but not me. This is not only a new day, but a new year, based on His appearing here on earth and accomplishing what only God can.

Each day is truly a new opportunity to do things right. We might "prefer" to wait until the masses decide to practice resolutions or their plans to diet, exercise and not use profanity and anger in traffic (smile), but by the end of January or early February the "masses" have already allowed failure to rule their lives. A smaller mass of people will fight through April, perhaps May, but by June, the lure of mass produced food, muscles that are sore just because you're getting old (as opposed to you forcing them to gain strength and flexibility through your devoted effort) will win for the remainder of the year. And swearing and near uncontrolled anger? Oh that ugly side of us came the first day we were in a hurry to get to the mall for a sale of items we already have!

New; it really doesn't have to be a "masses" decision. If you are in an abusive situation, if you are tired of being depressed and sad, the moment you decide to take action to change your life, "new" begins for you that same hour. You can declare a new year any day you decide. I'm going to make it personal: I've had many new years in my life and usually they occurred in conjunction to changing a habit or adopting new behavior. I decided to live as a Christian in April 1985, and be true to the calling on my life. I decided I would stick to exercising January, 2010 - and I have since then. I decided I would exercise my talents as a visual artist in early May 2010. There are many more commitments and behavior changes I decided to incorporate into my time here on earth and yes, I've failed, "backslid," but it's all part of my commitment to living life in service to God and man. One truth remains overall: my life is not my own; I've been given this life and these talents to be of service to man and to glorify God; I fully intend to do so.

Peace and Blessings in this coming New Year of Our Lord, Jesus Christ, 2014!

Declarative Statement

Shaken Up!

It’s important to make your statement.

I know I’m not alone when I say this, but more often than not, I wonder what difference my contribution to the world makes. Do I have an impact? Will the lack of response from those who see my words and images prevent me? 

And when I sit to draw or paint or write, no visible or audible audience is near, and yet I express myself, regardless. And yet, there is an unseen audience that hears, sees, and inspires what is said and rendered. Who is my audience? I’ve asked that question, trying to determine who to ‘target’ for the work. Well, if I take Jesus at his word, then this is my audience: “But I, when I’m lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to myself.” (John 12:32)

This isn’t a declaration of the Christian message in plain text. No, this is declaration of the supremacy of God as the creator of all things. I don’t deny my faith in Christ or his deity. I don’t deny that I believe he upholds, holds together, all things by the word of His power.  And yet, though he does this, I know he is intimately involved in my life. He brought me back to my calling, the expression of creativity. He has expanded that expression with words as well.

Sometimes I wonder if others understand; concerned with clarity I do a great deal of editing and withholding. I think I’m somehow ‘responsible’ for YOUR understanding. Then I remember years of underground work done in my life. When I was busy raising children, earning money, and working in ministry, and felt completely helpless, God was doing work that others could not see. While I was depressed to the point of suicide because I didn’t feel like I was being heard or was making a difference in the world, God continued to listen as well as express his love for me. I will continue to express myself in the unique way God has gifted me. Someone, somewhere and somewhen, is listening. They are listening, they are watching and the message is sinking so deep in their soul that the only way they can respond is by the grace of God as he works secretly, underneath the surface of their conscious. His work is never in vain!

Routine

Practice 10/17/11

I woke to the sound of the “gong” sound coming from my clock, at 3:00 am. That’s the time to wake up during the week. I get up; have my time of writing, ala The Morning Pages exercise, shower and out the door for a couple hours of exercise. Routine; love it or leave it, the sense of knowing what your day brings contains sanity and safety. No further opinion from me.

It’s 9:05 am. Normally, after getting back from the gym, I get the wife off for work, my youngest out for school and have my devotional time. Spending time with my Father is vital for the same reasons as my 3:00 am routine: sanity and safety. The added benefit is my soul is fed in ways no other human endeavor matches. Normally, at this time, I’m sifting through emails, thinking about what I want to work on, paint or pencil wise, and planning to work until I can’t anymore. Some routines take longer to establish and I’m learning to set rules to make them happen.

For the last year or so, I’ve adjusted to life at home. For a number of years, I was a contract employee at McDonalds, testing software. At 9:05, I would have been at work for at least an hour, also sorting through email, maybe a morning conference call and by now, employees would have filtered in and gone to their desk or on their way for coffee. I would have reviewed my list of test scripts to execute for the day, checking over what was done the previous day and looking at the defect report. I could plan men’s room breaks almost to the minute, as well as when a coworker would stop by my desk for a chat. I tested software and was the resident counselor.

I know where I want to be in my life and with each day of nailing down this routine, I see myself moving toward that life. I see my days much as it is now, with the exception, rather than going to the basement, I’m in my studio, quietly preparing to open myself for creativity.

There are days when what I want feels like a 345-pound weight across my shoulders, as I try to rise from a squat, but that isn’t the case today. Today, I’m at peace with my life as it is. Yes, I would like to be “in charge,” or “responsible” for more monetary resources (meaning, “I wish I had more than enough to take care of my needs, wants and a few other folks”) but today, I’m grateful for multiple meals, a warm house and gym membership. Additionally, I have a studio in my basement, brushes, paints, pencils and paper and I can go at it as long as I desire. Course, I’m making dinner today, but that fits into the life I want.

Closing this entry with this thought: No further comment on my part needed. What about you?

Practicing...It Matters

I'm reading the book "The Artist's Way," and I'm in week 8. Oh MY GOODNESS, is this challenging? One of the things I've found is that in my journey, over time, in many ways I have been getting prepared for this stuff, before it comes. This week, a key point that jumps out at me is coping with the "artist's anxiety." I know I'm not the only one who has to cope with this and it isn't an artist only issue. Everyone finds themselves 'stuck' or 'misdirected,' which is the biggest issue for a struggling individual. You know there's important stuff to do, vital tasks that spring from your very soul. But you also know you've got to do the laundry, build that career, and help mama or someone else with their list of tasks.

Guess what? If you continue to feel that tap in your soul, but continuing to ignore it, you are making yourself miserable. It isn't the job or the nagging issue of work/life balance that's got you stuck. It's the call of your soul that won't give you rest.

Here's a small tactic: do a little bit of the stuff you love. For me, it's a matter of sitting down with my pencils and paper or a brush, oil paint and canvas. Don't do a lot of it, don't create the masterpiece, just do something each day. Okay, I'm back at it.

Insight, Intuition and a Sledge Hammer!

Some days insight comes in like a 10 lbs. sledge hammer, slamming in my head like a huge bell. Clarity, an explanation, a warning or just a gentle ‘hello.’ Then there are times when I know I’m being told something, but it is more like a cloud or the image of the Virgin Mary in a chip; not everyone would understand, and if I told it to others they would smile and nod, but they wouldn’t get it. Regardless, communication, a language and words, have been passed.

Response; there are times when I allow myself to swim in it like a huge ocean. I allow the waves of consciousness and revelation to engulf me, fill my being and to find myself in the sea of ecstasy. There are times when I move with purpose in response, words find there way to the surface or images find their way to paper. Plans are made, “Google” searches done, or I tug at the ears of friends, family and anyone who will listen.

I’m speaking of insight and intuition. I know we all have it I’m just not sure we respond to it. Trained from the time we could comprehend ‘yes’ and ‘no,’ we expect knowledge to come through books, a well meaning authority figure or even someone who means us harm. Rarely do we listen to those whispers, which “pop” in our head that doesn’t spell out an answer like a textbook. But insight can easily be ignored if it is nurtured, disciplined and acted on. For me spending years choosing to be bound by the perceived needs of supporting family, I nurtured a dream. That dream now makes itself evident through my writing, artistry and counseling. Insight and intuition are skills and talents available to everyone if we will practice and perfect it.