In Process

(In Process) A Tea Rose for Monique 12 x 16 acrylic

Always

On my way

Arriving only to find I should go further

Or over there

Stay a while

I can't

There's someone/where/when

Just over the horizon

Yesterday is so fa away

Though I remember parts

Like it was 3 minutes ago

Today I woke before dawn

And before I knew it

The day was gone

So is it any wonder that I should move like that "Lucky Old Sun"

I'll be here for a while

But I'm leaving as soon as the wind picks up

And the chariot of fire swings my way

I'll be bigger then

Or I'll be smaller

In that next place

That arriving destination

I'll be something else

Thought for The Day - Calming

Remains Calm...that's the longest sticking title (so far) for the painting above. Still in progress, no idea how long it will take because apparently, I'm in recovery and at my own pace. You know, it's tragic that some of us are so functionally broken. Earn enough to pay bills, make new ones, eat food and buy clothes and ride the train each day and go sit in an office. Never mind I'm not doing art in that office or anything remotely similar. I'm functioning.

To the part about damage and eventually the "Calming" or "Remains Calm" - whichever comes up! I should have continued painting when I graduated from college, 30 years ago. Sabotage, personal and fatalistic, I shut the doors, put away the supplies and aggravated myself with a prophetic self-portrait stapled to the underside of a table tennis set, in my parents' basement. Eye portals wide open, but no brown eyes staring back at me, that picture told part of the story: no art, no work for a very long time, 25 years approximately. And all the tragic damage in trying to render anything.

I really don't get a life without God. The previous paragraph can't begin to tell all the ups and downs of my life, but it gives you an idea. I hoped I would get back to art, but how could I when I was the barrier to doing so? And yet I remained hopeful that somehow I would get back to it. And I did. And it was wonderful. I had a great summer, 2010, painting, drawing and working with messy pastels!

It's 2014; I have a completed painting (the jury is still out as to whether it's truly complete or not) and I started the one above about a month ago. It is part of my "Linen" series and I'm certain I have at least one more idea I want to see completed. The painting above is underway; I have to "remain calm..." I'm not working fast enough, I don't have an audience that yields an income, but I am working. It's an uneven, unsteady wobble forward, but the motion is forward. When I say I'm moving forward, this is the broken leg and hip, crawling beneath a desert sun, forward motion. I can say that because I know what it takes and where I want to be.

Remaining Calm...so much promise and so many obstacles! And mostly in my head!

Thought for The Day - The Process

It seems, some days as if you are moving through oily and dirty sludge. Progress? No, more of the same.

Trust the process...

Tomorrow comes, believe me. The promise is fulfilled. Trust me. Deliverance is N O W!

Thought for The Day - Prep Work

"As it is heaven, so it is on earth..."

Each morning, an alarm goes off on an old digital watch, kept on my desk. It goes off at 4:57 each day. At this point, it signals that it's time to wrap up my prep work, work on the blog and mentally prepare to hit the gym. When I set the alarm, years ago, it was to get up early enough for devotional time, exercise a bit at home and prepare for work. I haven't silenced the alarm in years, when I lay in the bed, my wife complaining that I should turn it off since I wasn't getting up. She doesn't know it goes off now because it's in my space and I'm up long before it goes off.

I've noticed that in my work, there are many keys from reality. Certainly, abstract work tends to trigger emotions, thoughts, providing us glimpses of our unconscious and what facts wind their way through our mind. So rendering in this way, I find cues from my past, present and the hoped for future. Patterns, shapes, colors and impressions occur with each stroke and sometimes, I'm certain I can see what lies off in a far away place...

Thought for The Day - ...Processing...

Trillions of particles floating colliding, bouncing off one another, every fraction of a second...

This light,

This life,

Flowing fluidly,

A stream of reasoning,

Emotions

And consciousness.

What is perceived

Is a fraction of

What is...

Progressing across this expanse of space, each step a lesson in diligence. Persistence keeps me going as I cross unfamiliar territories. Lessons learned, more information communicated than my conscious can recall, I am lost, but continue on the path I'm choosing. Recalculating each step, wind blowing across my face, eyes in a semi-permanent squint shading my view from the intense sun.

This is my journey, my progress, my life. I travel across space and time, light surrounding me nearly every step of the way. And in the distance, there is a twist, a twirling of life. Unexpected, it promises life will no longer be the same.

...merrily, merrily, merrily life is but a dream!

Thought for The Day - Making a Dollar out of Fifteen Cents!

Desert Floor (in progress) 12 x 18 Pastels

Sometimes, your lessons reflect back at you! Years ago, my middle son had an art class. Freshman in high school at a time when I was "considering" getting back into art myself, but not quite there, he was struggling with color mixing techniques. He thought the answer was to buy all the different shades and colors in tubes of premixed paints. A lesson I learned in my college days was the technique of blending colors and creating your own shades. Certainly a tedious process, but you learn as much about your 'vision' as you do about the technique.

Some years later, when I started drawing and painting regularly, I could afford to spend money on paints, pastels and colored pencils. A few times, when I didn't have a certain color, I would express my frustration and limitations and how I could get "this" detail if I just had the right shade of green. And of course, he said to me, "you could just mix it. That's what you told me!" And of course he was right. Not that I followed his advice or my own; eventually, I bought that shade of green I needed and other shades of blue. But...

...When I sit with a blank canvas or sheet of paper, I might have a concept in mind, but often it is the willingness to do so that opens the channel to the flow. I'm learning that the very act of sitting through the process, feeling the frustration, the pain, as well as the joy and liquid creativity is part of the process. There are times when my supply of pink pastel is down to a single nub, but I have red and white in abundance...I make it work. I have had times when I only had newsprint available for paper, but in that moment, it may as well be a sheet of the finest sanded pastel paper as far as I'm concerned! I work the surface as if every thought and emotion in my head, is buried beneath the white surface. And it's my job to bring out what's beneath.

I have plenty of things to say, to write, to express...and the means, the medium and time are limited. But today, I'm making a dollar out of fifteen cents!