Thought for The Day - Reinvention

I'm Listening

Re-work

Re-do

Re-invigorate

Re-alize

One day, you're going to get sick and tired of being sick and tired!

Thought for The Day - Natural

Linen with a swirl (in process) 24 x 30 oils

As the paint dries, my thoughts turn in various directions...

It's a process that works in me. Like having a long day, and mine are typically 19 hours a day, and being so exhausted, you can't help but have a deep sleep. But in lying down, my head sinking into the pillow, with that final adjustment of shoulder hunched into the edge of the pillow, my thoughts become visual, my consciousness returning to other places. I have learned, though, to allow whatever dreams occur to instruct me at other times; I rarely remember what I've dreamt. I do know the dreams are present because there is always the sense of a message there.

It isn't my desire to allow paint to dry on the palette; I would rather it dried only on the canvas and preferably after a painting is completed. But that is not the course of life for me at the moment. Besides, I get to spend more time in quiet communication with the latest piece(s) and doing so, I better understand what's needed, what is requested of me. Certainly, there are times when I'm anxious or ready to get my hands on it, but time does not permit, as I'm running off to begin my work day.

The practice, the patience, the waiting for "things to turn" and evolve...at moments, it is beyond difficult, like spending your entire life waiting. But in the process, I learn more about me, God and His purpose for me.

Peace, be still.

Thought for The Day - The Grind

Expectation

It comes to this more days than not; the grind is felt in our gut, like someone is slowly pulling a heavy chain through your navel. Or it's a headache, out of the blue, gripping your head like a medieval tool of torture. Too often, we are concerned about relieving the pain, but the root of it remains untouched.

Sleepless nights, yelling at your children or spouse or whoever seems weak enough to take it without giving it back to you, that's our problem, or the result of it. Like trying to rub our filth off on a useless towel, except our loved ones aren't useless, just loving and very forgiving.

Time in, and time out, we go from one hardship to another, skimming the surface, trying to wipe away symptoms while the underlying cause languishes. It doesn't rest, hence the unease and disease we suffer.

How well we search outside for a solution, trying oval remedies, amber elixirs and the eternal fountain of youth; that only shifts the pain elsewhere.

But...

The wise person chooses not to point the finger at others or collapse in despair, though both attempts seem viable. They learn to dig, to uproot and recall. They remember times where the day was not filled with doubt and overwhelming fear. They search childhood or moments of clarity when an idea or dream was more logical than reality. And they begin a journey to change reality. They work at it as if it were their daily grind, slowly reshaping life to be what is desired.

Thought for The Day - Make an Impact

I wondered how I would say this, how I would share this lifelong sense of worth, but here it goes. And as I gather the thoughts to express, I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Growing up, my earliest memories were of my father's smile and his laughter. Now, for the most part, he was quiet and most certainly not a joker. No, he laughed and smiled usually in response to someone else's jokes or stories. He is what is known as a good natured guy. It seemed his goal was to bring joy to others and of all the people I know, he always seemed to put everyone else's needs before his, even to his detriment. At the time, I "knew" I couldn't be like him, because it was easier to live in the small world of my head. Yes, his life of service was enviable, even desired, but that wasn't me.

Flash-forward: I'm a middle-aged father and husband. I struggle to stay a step ahead of the bill collectors, work hard and try as I might, I can't help but live a life of service. This blog, even my art, are ways to communicate "good feelings" to others. I find myself, surprisingly enough, smiling and laughing with family and friends, just as my father still does. I find that I genuinely enjoy smiling, even if I can be as quiet as a church mouse. I find it easy to extend my ear, more than my mouth, when a friend is in need.

Honestly, I struggle with the notion of making an impact. I know I want my life to have meant something, for the world to have been made a little better by my time here, and so many times, it seems I'm not getting the job done. But then, I remember the people who say "thank you" for my listening or the times I give advice. I think of the friends, my wife or my children, who call to tell me "you wont' believe what just happened!" And yet, here I am, this quiet, insecure guy who's life doesn't amount to much! Go figure! I must be reaching something, right!

Perhaps you find yourself feeling the same way and like me, you think you have wasted your life. Don't count yourself out. Consider family, friends, even people who respond to your expression on the streets. Many want to make a positive impact in this world and little by little, we are doing so. Keep up the good work.

The above is written in memory of George Duke who, in his "gentle giant" way, with his gentle smile, made a difference to many through his music. You are missed, George!

This is my introduction. A few years ago, I downloaded the song "A Change is Gonna Come." Initially, I listened, played it a few times and let it settle down in the list of rarely played songs. But something happen in my heart and soul. The impression is "a change is gonna come."

Well here I am, 'blogging!' Of course that's only part of the change. You see, for years, I've written poetry. I have a couple of novels in me somewhere, just haven't taken the time to do anything with them. Nothing is published and most of my efforts at writing have remained private. But the thing I always wanted to do is express mysself through visual arts.

I took classes at Columbia College and graduated in 1984 - a very long time ago! With a BFA (Bachelor of Fine Arts) I immediately felt overwhelmed. Though I'm sure I was as creative back then, I didn't do anything with it. I couldn't envision myself drawing or painting, though I had developed quite a bit of talent. Still, call it cultural pressures, I did not consider myself capable of success.

Twenty-five years later, while 'success' is nice, expression, the exercise of my soul, the images that pour from my soul, is paramount! I continue to write, but it's mostly journaling and a blog is great way to express myself that way. Who knows? Maybe soon I'll have a website featuring art and writing! Any way, this is my introduction.