Thought for The Day - A LIttle Higher

I will lift up my eyes to the hills - from whence comes my help? - Psalms 121:1 (NKJV)

Years ago, my pastor at the time aptly explained this verse is a series of questions. The writer wasn't saying he would literally expect help from hills and mountains but making the comparison between an uninformed person to one who knows God and expects his help to come from a higher place.

In this moment, I acknowledge I need help from higher than I can reach. My arms are too short to reach heaven to bring down resources needed for the day. A friend mentioned words she heard from a sermon. Joel Osteen apparently communicated we should be praying with the expectation of "N-O-W!!!"I am there; I have reached a point where I realize my need is urgent and I extend my voice, my hand and heart to reach to the heavens!

There are times, in the quiet and stillness of a given moment, when it seems my prayers are answered. Knowledge and insight flow from above.

Reach!

I've Got to Try...

No picture this time. Just listen. So, I really wanted to be an artist, though I think as early as 8, I thought "I can't be an artist; they don't make any money." So I searched and searched to figure out what I wanted to be and earn money.

I grew up, I did customer service, worked in retail store stock rooms, sold dishes, insurance and car care products. I took other customer service positions with other companies and begin to work with "computers." Data entry jobs. Enter this data and "something happens." But I had to try.

Started making a little more money, which was necessary because I had a family and bills and stuff. Worked with "computers" a little more and thought of ways work could go smoother if we had _____ and _____. Worked with computers more and people less; computers seem good. I've got to try this.

Every department or company I moved to, someone wanted to talk - I mean the baring one's soul type of talk. I'm good at this; I've got to try...

Somewhere along the way, I came full circle. Art: painting, drawing, oil painting, acrylics, watercolor, pastel and charcoal. I've got to try.

I've thrown in 'this' and 'that' along the way, including preaching, teaching and scrubbing toilets, but when it comes right down to it, I've got to try...

You hear me, you understand. This isn't about revealing a great secret or having answers for it all. This is about living and trying. Sometimes I fail at stuff, other times I succeed, but like you and nearly every person on the planet, I've got to try. Check out my website to see what I mean: www.eddiehudson3.com

I want to believe...

Not that I don't, not that I've had a severe drought of faith or that I doubt God will keep promises. It's that moment...that day when, seemingly out of the blue, it feels like the world is on the verge of cataclysm. Well, maybe that's a bit over-the-top. Maybe what I mean is in relation to ALL my hopes and the big dream, it seems like someone opened a chasm between that world and here.

It's my moment of crisis; the one where, for a minute, an hour, a day I hold with a tight grip, FEAR as though it were mine. It's that moment when I've lost sight of the constant reassurance, the reminders and the sense that my life has a purpose. And you know what? I'm not alone. Sure, we want to comfort one another and assure one another that "it's okay, God hasn't abandoned you." And yes, we should comfort one another with "these words." But everyone feels the same way. Everyone has those times when the bottom seems to fall out.

As adults we've become 'efficient' at going on. The more successful of us can get clean, dressed, and appear in any social setting, effectively suppressing our despair. But then again, nothing and everything can remind us of that sense of insecurity and dread.

We are a "solution-based" world; we want a fix, a resolution and we want it now! Stop this pain, and my misery! And yes, there are those who do nearly anything to dull the pain.

I want to believe...and I choose to believe. Though light does not appear in the immediate future, though it seems my prayers are thrown back in my face, though it feels like my life is less than yesterday's trash, I choose to believe. Sure, I want to cry out and present my case to God, reminding him that I'm here and I've been a good Christian, but there are times its best to sit with the pain. Sometimes, you just need to realize that yeah, I can still hurt, I still feel like I'm not worthy of anything good. And yeah, guilt, shame, and low self-esteem are part of my nature. And yet, when it's all said and done, I know my life counts for the greatest.