Sketch for Predawn Light

This is something I'm working on, a sketch from a few months. This will eventually be a painting - oil painting - but for now I'm working on the sketch. I'm working on multiple approaches to paintings, trying to better plan how the image looks when complete.

Definitive Work

There are many thoughts and plans going on in my head; I won’t be the first or the last to confess this. But something my sister pointed out helps me know those thoughts and plans don’t stop at my skull. That is history, personal, experiential history. Years ago, I decided of all things to be “when I grow up,” the best fit was artist. College was sold back then as the gateway to successful living and at 17, I was convinced it would be my path to a rewarding life.

Fast forward to now. College graduate, working in the field of software testing. Not what I pictured when I sat with school admission papers and an application for scholarship from Columbia College. But there’s a great deal of history that helps me realize now is the time for the definitive work. Rather than count my past against me, I am choosing to count it to my advantage. Though I went far a field of Fine Arts and painting, I gained valuable insight and added to my tool bag. And along the way, when challenges came along, though it felt like I was losing, each time I was learning more. Even when times seemed so dark, and I felt I was as low as I could be, each step in the direction of hope was a step in the right direction.

These days, I’m doing the work of responding to the “Call.” Each day I’m more aware that the “Call” is greater than the vision of my standing in a pulpit in a small church on the West side of Chicago. I’m painting my life as I speak. I’m redefining my life and seeing my “Call” as something greater than counseling, preaching, teaching, fatherhood, husband, and son or software tester. The definitive work is “in process” in me.

Do The Work

The other week, on a typical Saturday, I ended up on the floor of my church, taking apart a huge desk. I say typical, because of the many ‘hats’ I wear, I often end up doing tasks that aren’t my responsibility, and no one else will do. But as opposed to bemoaning my overloaded life, I decided to focus on this task. After all, a power tool in hand and music playing in my headphones, I was equipped to do the job. I began the process of unscrewing each screw of this desk.

Long before I reached the midway point of the process, it began to get difficult. There were a lot brackets and four screws for each. Each bracket was on the inside of the drawer compartments and it was a tight squeeze to get in there. That’s when the nagging thoughts kicked in: “this is ‘our’ task (the men of my church) and I’m the only one who showed up to do it.” Of course that lead me down the typical “woe is me,” path. But I continued the work. Pretty soon, I realized I still had a ways to go and the work wasn’t getting easier. But a new thought came to mind: “you knew this wasn’t going to be easy when you decided to take it on. Just keep working until it’s complete.” And that’s what I did.

Lesson learned: sometimes, we get excited about a task at hand and we expect the thrill of it all to carry us through its completion. More often than not, the task takes on a different look and feel when things aren’t going as planned. But the bottom line is anything worth starting is worth finishing. For me, this goes deeply into the work I’m moving toward. I don’t know how to price and sell art, but I can find out. I don’t know who to network with, or creative ways to sell, but I can ask around. And when it comes to feeling sure I have artwork that will reach to the heart of the beholder, I have doubts, but there are many ways to present it and see if it does.

Do the work, regardless of fears, anxieties or low self-esteem. Success doesn’t come because one knows every curve and bump in the road, but it comes when we continue on the road to a life worth living.

A Moment

A whisper
Lost in the wind
A wish
Tossed with a penny in a fountain
A goodbye that lasted longer
But felt like a flash of lightning
As it fades away

The thrill of an early summer bike ride
Watermelon
Cold while the sun is so hot
Dripping and sticky
Sweet and delicious
Filling up your insides
Briefly, for a moment

Laughter
When your eyes are all cried out
Coming from a memory that pops up
But as suddenly as your grin appears
It’s gone
Chased away by the icy cold of the here and now

A pleasant dream
With a cozy ending
Followed by a gentle stirring
As you awake to a sunny day
You stretch
Smile
Full of energy from your mind’s movie
But as your feet touch the floor
The haunting of the same old grind
The car that won’t start
The….
And the….
Plus the…
Send that dream down the drain
Taking with it the joy you felt

A moment
Passes in a minute
Some are lost
‘Cause we are looking in the wrong place
Others
Get called up to remind us
Caution us
Warm our hearts
Or stop our tracks
And somehow
Someway
They are lost
Brushed away like pesky flies
When we choose to focus on
The here and now
The “never will be”
And the lost happenstance

Yet they are there
Happening now
Happening way back when
And some are held in reserve
For later

Untitled

Untitled
Originally uploaded by Hudson Gallery

I haven't given this a title yet. When I begin working on this, it was charcoal only. But very quickly I felt the need for color. I've noticed my style is about fluid shapes and no matter how well my intentions are, I always end up blending colors.

So what do you think a title should be?

Red Windows

Red Windows
Originally uploaded by Hudson Gallery

Funny how we make windows to keep from seeing out or in. But in this case what is let in is the beautiful light. Short of a completely pitch black night, there's always beautiful light coming in around the edges. Each panel seems to have it's own character and glow.

A Sudden Wind

Movement; unexpected but sensed. A sudden breeze out of nowhere. The sound is felt as much as the brush against skin. That is the inspiration of my heart, a sudden stirring of my heart, a need to express the creative gifts in me! When I allow, the inspiration comes on me, like divine prophetic speaking, the inclination to render a color or turn the brush, marker, pencil or pastel or certain way. I am guided to render and express.