I Thought it was done...

I think anyone that works on something without a step-by-step plan can identify, but I'm certain an artist can. That is, you're working on the 'thing' and you see shapes coming forth and you can't wait to see the end. Not that you're tired of it, but in my case, often I want to see how the finished product comes together, just to gauge my thoughts about it.

Triplicate is my first work done while I'm in this new phase of my life. Given the time of day, the amount of energy I can exert, it didn't feel risky or  too ambitious; it felt right. So as the colors and shapes came together, and the center filled in, I felt a bit of apprehension about "the end" and the edges of the work. I journaled and studied the feel of the piece and concluded it was energy. I thought I saw a sunrise in the left panel, a womb in the middle and an explosion on the right.

But it isn't done. I post a picture as it is at this moment, but it isn't done, there's still work to be done. Watch!

It's Jazz

Love the recordings that make their way to the final release, where there’s dialogue between the artist(s) and the recording engineer or just dialogue you know they didn’t intend (initially) to release to the public. It’s truly the human side of this creative process. And this creativity is certainly me. As I was to turning to look at the two things I’m working on, contemplating shapes, colors, movement, I hear the end of a recording by Oscar Peterson (Moten Swing (alternate take)) and it sounds like ‘they’ are talking about ways to edit or where to place the song. I played the end another time to determine what they’re talking about, but I didn’t get it. It really didn’t matter, I had gotten what I needed: humanity.

This follows pretty well behind Seth Godin’s blog today: “Rehearsing is for Cowards.” Funny; I do a great deal of looking back – at history, my past, etc. I think about the origins of Jazz music, one of the earliest forms of “American (North America, specifically the United States of America) Music.” I think about the disdain for it, the declaring it to be “devil music,” and despising anyone who listened to it on a regular basis. Then I laugh when I think today we have “Christian Jazz,” which to someone born before 1900, would seem like a true sign of the apocalypse. But we have it and we love it in nearly all its forms. And the funnier thing is now the majority of our society won’t consciously listen to jazz.

In it’s true form while it can be practiced, the best parts of it are the innovations musicians come up with on a continuous basis. That’s true of all art forms, especially visual art. Thinking back, I hated paint-by-number kits before it became popular to do so. Yes, I wanted a picture perfect painting, but I wanted to do it myself without someone directing which paint went where. Nowadays, I can render as I like; I don’t have a number, a teacher or anyone else for that matter, dictating what colors and shapes to use. As a matter of fact, some of my best work is that I do when I’m sitting with pencil, pastel or brush in hand, following a pattern that doesn’t seem to exist. I simply go and go and sit back, amazed at the mixture of shapes and colors. It’s Jazz!

Triplicate

Wow, it's been so long since I posted anything here, I'm almost out of practice - NOT!!! I write so much in other places that I always have something to write about.

With a bit of "time off" I'm getting a few of the "honey-do" items taken care of as well as my own extensive cloud of tasks started and/or completed. One of the things I'm learning about the creative aspect of my nature is that, for the moment, it is boundless energy. Of course, that energy is encased in the body of a 48 year old male, fully committed to the well being of his family and the weight of adult fears prevents that energy from receiving free reign. Again, this is "for now." Somewhen in the near future, I anticipate a vent or valve being opened and creativity as well as a spirit willing to instruct others in like manner, to be set free.

One of the things that's happened in the last week is a bit of "preparation." Considering I'm busy for 19 out of 24 hours a day, I've only been able to set aside a minute or two for art. For the last year, I only squeezed in 15 minute increments while at lunch, gobbling food down, drawing and then taking a nap. Having this time, there's a great deal of soul searching to be done, and often, I find myself in the same position as I did when I worked. But taking whatever time I could, I found a huge board ideal for mounting paper and working on an easel. I worked all last week on a charcoal rendering of a lady I call "Contemplation," all the while chomping at the bit to get to something colorful. Pastels feel 'right,' so when I had the charcoal work 98% complete, I set it aside, pulled a sheet of pastel paper and taped it to the board.

You know, we should not be in a hurry; it's amazing what happens when we allow 'things' to get in our way. I had the paper in place, ready to go and it stayed there for about 14 hours, too busy with other things to get to the picture. But when I took a few minutes to 'contemplate' the paper, the huge board seemed to clamor for attention as well. Looking at the little paper and the huge board, "triplicate" (the name for now) came to be.

Right now, it's three sheets of paper taped together on the board, but eventually it will be a great work. Don't despise the beginning of small things.

Better Git it In Your Soul

A friend of mine once heard that she would find something she had lost. She wondered and wondered about it. Don't think she's ever 'found it' or figured out what that phrase meant. But...

Sometimes I get the impression that there is something we all lose. I see it fading in the eyes of my youngest child as he 'matures.' He's an energetic young one, whose found joy in video games. He could spend hours in front of them if we allowed him. But as he gets older and acclimates himself to the reprimands/corrections regarding other outlets - i.e. clean your room, help around the house, etc - he finds a little less time for his favorite past time. If video games had not caught his attention at an early age, maybe it would be baseball or soccer or basketball. But he would be the kid that didn't understand why he couldn't play in the rain or why cold weather should be a deterrent to play. It's in his soul. He'll adjust, but it wont' be an easy transition for him. "Having fun" still means more to him than an orderly room.

My middle one found it. Funniest non-comedian I've ever met. Except for him, it's machines and 'knowing.' He can spend hours, days, weeks, researching the 'how' and 'why' of something, has patience to put off his wants until appropriate, and when comfortable with his surroundings, makes you laugh until your sides hurt. To see him during the 'build' season of robotics, he's driven, determined and has a one track mind to complete assembling the robot. He has an eye and hands for mechanics, especially something never 'done before.'

And my oldest child, my daughter. I would have to say she gets her sense of WOMANHOOD from her maternal grandmother, who she's named after. Always determined to be the best she can be and to strive to be a success, she's making a mark in the world. In clubs in college, she's a leader. Always poised and always presentable as a lady, that is 'her thing.' It's in her soul.

They will all be successful, one way or another. There is a determination in their soul that pushes them past restrictions and boundaries.

Better git it in your soul...it isn't 'lost' or 'misplaced.' It's that thing you stumble over, those thoughts you scream over,  that quiet voice that reminds you of desires unexpressed. It is that part of you, responsibility and adulthood says there is no room for. It is in your soul, waiting for the day you will exercise and revel in the joy of 'it.'

My daughter and I had a conversation this morning about how some people in the military are considered heroes for doing their job. We both agreed many young men and women go to the military because its an opportunity to make money and possibly get an education. "Hero" is accidental; it comes with the job. But then I thought how many people go to jobs - tomorrow, most Americans will wake, dreading the start of another work week, though a shortened one - that if they could turn their backs on it, would do so in a heartbeat. We do it because of convenience, money, or benefits. We do it because we "heard" this job "pays good." It isn't because it's what I've always wanted to do, or more importantly, because "that's who I am." And yet, when we fill our homes (and our hearts) with homes, cars, clothes, and flat screen televisions, we wonder why we aren't happy. When we realize our "in-come" doesn't match our "out-go" we wonder when does it all end. Well, when you realize it's "in your soul," maybe you'll wake up and leave the insanity you signed up for. Maybe then you will live in harmony with that 'missing link' waiting in a small box, in your soul. Maybe the struggle will not be over but begin to take on new meaning.

Better Git it in your soul.

What you're "supposed to do!"

Ever notice how some are crazy successful - what ever way you define success at that moment - and you and others seem to be looked over  to the point you're like paint on the wall? Considering those who got straight A's in school, were the talk of the school, student of the week, etc.; the pressure is on to rise to the challenge. And if you were the straight A student, but as an adult, you're the straight D's adult, it's a miserable existence.

They take away the grading scale, or at least what it takes to qualify for those grades, as we get older. "You're supposed to do..." and there's an extensive list of 'to-do's'

• Earn $50,000 or more per year
• Have a 4 or 5 bedroom home, whether you have 5 members in your family or not
• Drive a new model luxury car, always shining
• Age gracefully
• Eat right
• Be on Facebook
• Tweet!!!
• Have a blog
• Blog the 'right way'

The list is amazing; longer than an NBA player, but that doesn't account for the people who are successful without doing what's on the list. It doesn't take into consideration those who didn't go to college and yet they're millionaires: Bill Gates, Jay-z, to name a very few. Those 'to-do's' don't relieve the pressure of existence when you're doing 98% (maybe a little less) and yet you're so unhappy, you dread a sunlit morning. 

"What you're supposed to do..." how about live, laugh, love, smile and enjoy the ride?

...Of the Beholder

In the eyes of the beholder

There is beauty before them

But in the eyes of the beautiful

What is seen

Behind the eyes of true beauty

What thoughts go unseen

What mysteries and decisions

Are hidden behind those beautiful eyes

In the eyes of the beholder

Eyes, face, neck and body

Are wonderful to behold

But behind the eyes of the beauty

A world unknown

Though traces slip out

Made concrete

Yet the eyes

That mind

Are shrouded in the mystical

Briefly...

www.eddiehudson3.com. That's where I'm maintaining a working website. With a little help from my friends I'll make it a great place to allow the light to shine into the lives of others.

I've place poetry, pictures and another blog on that site. Stop by, take a look and send a comment to: eddie.hudson@eddiehudson3.com. I would love to hear from you!