Linen...progressing Expressively

This past week I turned 50. The big 5-0. And I'm glad to say it doesn't feel like I thought it would! At birthdays, the beginning of a new year, a new day, I make assessments, evaluate progress and determine what corrections and changes are needed. So it is with my latest work. Actually, this week, in evaluating my life through journaling, I realized a "flow" exists in all aspects of my life. I have come to acknowledge, at any given moment, I may feel joy, pain, sorrow, love and any number of opposing feelings. I have also discovered it is the EXPRESSION behind my expressions.

Any given morning, when I take a moment to look back at the bed, the sheets and comforter are twisted and strewn about as if a storm hit. But the best night's sleep is had in such a wake. My body and the sheets paint a picture of wrestling with spirit and a world beyond sight. This is my work, this is my life. A friend at my current contract assignment has me pegged as a "future employee." I repeatedly declare there's more to "Eddie" than meets the eye. I might seem compliant, agreeable and a "team player," but there is a side of me that will not allow me to simply "go with the flow." I am a mix of rebel and patriot, friend and antagonist. And though for the most part I seek peace for all, I am fully aware that peace sometimes comes as a result of speaking one's truth and that truth disturbs the quiet.

Linen, the work displayed is 'me.' It is a mix of colors and patterns. There are parts that don't fit and when you think you have pieces "compartmentalized" - code expression for "categorized" - it turns and twists off into a world you can't see. Linen is my expression of a complex of twists and turns that so very often I don't understand about me. While it is me, it is not all of me...there is always more to come and far more to know about me.

Linen...In progress

Sunday morning...preparation for Praising God. Unashamedly Christian, in love with a God whose love holds all things together and yet allows man to find him of his own choice. Awesome. Had to say it, record that thought before anything else is said.

Sunday morning. I'll keep this brief - I hope. Sometimes the flow starts and things are stated I didn't know were there. Like the painting currently on the easel. It began as an act to fill a huge canvas purchased about a year ago. Had another image in mind but knew I didn't research enough to bring it to canvas, yet. So I grabbed the canvas, setting aside a "self-portrait" (I might allow that one to get some "air time," one day), fresh paint remaining on the palette, I did what has become my habit: applied a stroke here, there, allowing an image to take shape. The colors to guide me. Subtle oranges, yellows and tainted white began to appear, like "Linen," folded, stretched and creased over a surface. Beautiful!

That was some months ago, before giving my best hours of the day to an employer. At short intervals, I sit with a few dabs of paint on the palette, apply a little here or there and observe its progress. More often than not, I look at the painting as I sit in my morning devotional time, contemplating its message and direction.

Anyone that follows my work knows I LOVE colors, and mixing them in ways both unexpected and strangely subtle. Texture is another vital part of my work, as I mirror what life is to me. Life is full of complexities, layers of people, thoughts, experiences, sounds, sights and LOVE. Like the journey of life, the experience of painting has become a long distance run. There are certainly times when I want the sojourn to be over, the Finish Line to be in the perceivable moment, but that isn't life, and for this painting, for the time being, that is not possible. I see so many more layers to go, so many subtle colors to apply and when it's all said and done, we will ALL see the end result.

It's a a surface with a linen texture and when it's all said and done, it will remain the same. Except it will have multiple layers of colors, strange textures and daily experiences where you find yourself wondering "how did I get to this point?" That life...that's Linen.