Thought for The Day - Calming

Remains Calm...that's the longest sticking title (so far) for the painting above. Still in progress, no idea how long it will take because apparently, I'm in recovery and at my own pace. You know, it's tragic that some of us are so functionally broken. Earn enough to pay bills, make new ones, eat food and buy clothes and ride the train each day and go sit in an office. Never mind I'm not doing art in that office or anything remotely similar. I'm functioning.

To the part about damage and eventually the "Calming" or "Remains Calm" - whichever comes up! I should have continued painting when I graduated from college, 30 years ago. Sabotage, personal and fatalistic, I shut the doors, put away the supplies and aggravated myself with a prophetic self-portrait stapled to the underside of a table tennis set, in my parents' basement. Eye portals wide open, but no brown eyes staring back at me, that picture told part of the story: no art, no work for a very long time, 25 years approximately. And all the tragic damage in trying to render anything.

I really don't get a life without God. The previous paragraph can't begin to tell all the ups and downs of my life, but it gives you an idea. I hoped I would get back to art, but how could I when I was the barrier to doing so? And yet I remained hopeful that somehow I would get back to it. And I did. And it was wonderful. I had a great summer, 2010, painting, drawing and working with messy pastels!

It's 2014; I have a completed painting (the jury is still out as to whether it's truly complete or not) and I started the one above about a month ago. It is part of my "Linen" series and I'm certain I have at least one more idea I want to see completed. The painting above is underway; I have to "remain calm..." I'm not working fast enough, I don't have an audience that yields an income, but I am working. It's an uneven, unsteady wobble forward, but the motion is forward. When I say I'm moving forward, this is the broken leg and hip, crawling beneath a desert sun, forward motion. I can say that because I know what it takes and where I want to be.

Remaining Calm...so much promise and so many obstacles! And mostly in my head!

Thought for The Day - Bacteria

"I'm infected!" 

This year has been challenging in that interesting way that if you aren't mindful, you ignore the blessings and make unwise decisions. A series of injuries, flooded basement a couple times this year, broken appliances, repairs and necessary purchases; it would seem that "someone" is trying to get my attention. But again, mindfulness, staying in touch with God, I am aware that "change is inevitable" and in truth, constant. 

We can allow what appears to be difficulty or calamity or misfortune, to alter our steps. I grew up with parents and relatives who observed weather changes and a collection of political events as a 'sign of changing times.' Of course, "the apocalypse" always looms on the horizon. That thought infected me, to the extent, I have had to work hard to ignore that line of thinking. When I say it's a struggle not to view life as an accident waiting to happen, I'm not joking! It's an everyday struggle!

But I've also received a dose of hope and confidence. I've viewed life from the other side, that is, an adventure, an opportunity to grow and progress. When I put my paints away shortly after college, 30 years ago, there was a sense that I might not pick them up again. But there was also this sense that it was an ABSOLUTE MUST to do so! And that same sense of hope drives me on, today!

Yes, I have a dis-ease; it will not allow me to rest! It will not allow me to accept the status quo and to live like everyone else! It drives me to solitude, to contemplation and to sharing "the good news" that a brighter day is coming!

Thought for The Day - Life is Art

I do this - the writing and painting - because it is as much a part of me as my race, height and love for God. I write because it is a form of expression easily understood. I paint because it's in my soul; it is a dance, a performance of joy and energy and truth.

My current work "Linen, A Storm's Coming, pulls out of me ideas and impressions that I need to sit down and document. The one thing that seems consistent is building layers of tone and color because that's how this world is constructed. "White" and "Black" aren't really that way, but layers of color - energy - built upon one another. So imagine a storm is coming...clouds move across the sky a little faster and depending on the time of day, the sun fights to display it's many shades and hues. Beneath that sun and cloud mix, wind moves or stirs whatever is around us. In this painting, the fabric is being stirred and moved. And for now, that's all you and I need to know.

Life is a canvas, a beautiful movement of dance and poetry. Observe, listen and taste it! While every part of it isn't pleasant, when savored, life can be oh so joyful!

Thought for The Day - Blogging Art, Pretty Pictures, Plain Words

It's a pleasure to present my work; to show the world my work.  And while it is readily available for viewing, and I write about the process, my work and I remain relatively obscure. But that's alright; those that know me, know my work and it appears regularly in this format.

I realize I don't have much to say about the purpose of my work. I can tell you it's driven more from my desire to express the layers of my mind, rather than to render beautiful renditions of life. That is "my current situation." I can easily get in a studio with a live model posing and paint as well. And one day I will. But for now, this is my heart's statement, my mind and body responding to the energy stored up inside.

Turbulence, like waves of water, rocks vibrating under the weight of sonic rumblings. bodies shaking under silk sheets...this is disturbance. This is quaking and violence!

No pretty pictures here...but the words say it all!

Thought for The Day - Fall, Saturdays

A day off, the "to-do" list extensive, the "if-I-had-time-for" list much longer and buried beneath necessity. Saturdays in the fall: haircuts, grocery shopping, raking leaves, clipping branches and cleaning gutters. Taking the car to a repair shop for winterizing, or the latest round of repairs.

Saturday afternoons are now spent with a palette in one hand, a brush in the other, standing or sitting in front of a canvas.  A ride in the car is filled with adventure, absorbing the many colors of leaves changing before falling to the ground. Maybe I'll open the sunroof to get a bit of fresh air. Maybe I'll treat myself to walk along a stream somewhere. Or maybe I'll catch a quick nap and dream...

Saturday night is relaxing and tranquil. As I get older, I miss the Saturday nights when I went to a jazz club to hear a group perform. Nothing fancy, some local talent playing through their usual set. It was an opportunity to see what the rest of the world was doing and hear good music. In this period of transition - isn't every "period" a time of transition - there is a reflection of the past, measuring the present and hoping for ______ in the future.

It's Saturday, it's Fall and the season is changing...

Thought for The Day - The Saga Unfolds

Snippets,
Vignettes
Soliloquy
The Series
Documentary
Story

Through out our lives, the story is told. We who have the pleasure of sitting comfortably in a 'domicile' probably enjoy "dramas," the most. But in truth, our lives are full of drama as well...

As I write, I imagine stories occurring as people read. I'm "tapping" into your mind, the reader of this blog to see what words evoke your hopes and dreams, as well as your life story. I am fortunate enough to have experienced or told a great deal of stories, so at some point, in some way, "your story" might be told. But don't be alarmed or cautious, because "your story" is the life everyone lives! In one way or another, we all experience similar drama, comedy and even amazing, unbelievable sci-fi type stories.

Painting is the same as well. Standing at a canvas or sitting with pencil in hand, My mind is full of stories and scenes. Coming to mind, floating in my head, are the lives of family, friends, celebrities and people in countries, I "assume" exist. God even has a starring role, as I lay color and texture on a 2D surface. With a million stories, there are as many directions a piece can take. I might have in mind to put yellow over this blue, but as I'm moving the paint to that area, I am directed in another place, decisions, ideas and the Possibility constantly churning. I am bombarded - in a good way - with amazing choices! And the story never ends!

Every life contains moments, those little areas that hinge in our memory and we recall as pivotal periods. We all have them. For me, it's as if some actor decided to speak up and share their heart, with the spotlight on them only. And the same holds true, sometimes within one piece of art. There are sections that are highlighted, that stand above the rest. But they are an integral part of the larger piece or the larger series.

Thought for The Day - The Right Place for Art

Now this may seem bad and if it offends you, I apologize from the beginning. On my daily commute, along the train line, there are places where graffiti artists have made their mark. Some take offense to the work, it is, after all defacing private property and depending on what is displayed, the work can be offensive. But the skills of these people? AMAZING!!!

Certainly, it is risky and illegal to climb into areas reserved for multi-ton commuter and freight vehicles to share your message. And quite honestly, I'm not clear what is the message they are sharing, but I admire the work! And quite honestly, given the bare concrete walls, the number of commuters who pass this way in a given day, this form of art, this media of expression has to be a welcome change! Enjoy my hastily photographed images! Or not...

Thought for The Day - Hobbies, Jobs, Careers and Calling

Something to do, places to be...

Most would agree, one doesn't expect to earn money from a hobby; its something done in spare time. A Saturday morning fishing trip is not the opportunity to earn money and watching model trains run across tracks isn't the means to pay the bills.

A job pays the bills! I remember my first pay check and the feelings I had before I got it! At 15, a summer job was an opportunity to earn a little change for my pocket and Burger King was hiring. I didn't know about Federal and state payroll deductions and FICA and Medicare wasn't a thought. So when the check was put in my hand and I tore open the envelope, I was very disappointed! Needless to say, I have learned over the years, that's how it is!

Career; I guess that would have been interesting if I had followed that path. As a kid, there were three possible directions I wanted to go: scientist, artist or business owner. I had a pastor who always talked about owning a neighborhood grocery store. The idea always gave me a sense of having your own and watching the morning rush hour as a kid, even then I wanted to have a bit more control over my morning.

As I reached the adult years, a career as an artist seemed to be my destiny. Except I wasn't winning awards or showing in galleries. Knowing what I do now, I should have taken that teaching assistant position one of my first college professors offered. The exposure to art professionals would have guided my path so much better! At least I would like to think so...

The overarching direction of one's life is determined by your "calling." For the religious types, the narrowly visioned types, "calling" is larger than a pastor or preacher. I know I thought that was the only meaning possible, especially since those seemed to be in my life. However, 22 years after "responding" to that prompting, I am no closer to understanding the purpose of my life. It's not to say I haven't enjoyed some of the twists and turns, the job, hobbies and opportunities to share the good news of the gospel. But it's been a long journey. And there are times I'm not sure I am on the right path...

Thought for The Day - Stranger in Familiar Land

In tan, cubicle land, pretty pictures mean nothing. Messages, when they are pointed to and explained, mean nothing. People might wonder as they walk by, but you can best believe they will walk on. The guy sitting across from you can't appreciate your work and as he wonders why his life seems meaningless. While you know why, you speak a different language and your kaleidoscope words and musical tone mean nothing to him. 

Like the earbuds in your ears, if heard by someone other than you, sounds like a tinny beat, your message isn't heard in this place; comprehension is for calculations, completing an 8 hour day and getting out of here for the weekend.

For me, though it is familiar territory, it is not 'home.' It isn't the place where I look forward to spending my days. I have moved from place to place in the last few years, not because I was looking for home, but perhaps to reinforce for my own sensibility, that this place is not home. 

Thought for The Day - What is This Thing Called Love?

Of a Feather 18 x 24 pastels

I have the above titled song as it was recorded by Charles Mingus and it is 8 minutes of pure joy. But before I launched off into expressions about the song, I did a quick search for the song's origin. Written by Cole Porter and performed in a Broadway musical "Wake up and Dream" (another popular thought for a "modern world). But here's my true focal perspective: music and for me, in particular Jazz music.

I woke this morning, prepared to face the day. There's always a lot to do, even on the weekends, yet I prefer to start my day with writing. It is the basis of communication and as I was taught so many years ago, I like to spend time communicating with my Father. Often times, I'm accompanied by music in this process, my computer loaded with 'enough' music to last several days. But this morning, I went to YouTube and on my list of recommendations was a full recording of a concert, Gregory Porter being the star of the show.

The concert takes place in Amsterdam and he sings with the support of the Metropole Orchestra. Now this is Jazz, with a full sized orchestra and Gregory's velvety voice! Sheer beauty! Wait a minute now, Jazz music sang in a classic setting; music that is traditionally improvisational, with near unpredictable shifts and rises and falls, sang with an orchestra and sheet music! And you know what? They rocked and rolled with Gregory as if the sheet music contained every possible rise and fall, turn and shift!

But that is this thing Called Love. We are traveler's on this journey and while we may believe we travel alone, there are so many unseen and seen fellow sojourners. What is this thing called love? It is the assistance we receive and the beauty we create along the way. It is the sheer joy of this journey and it's strange, out of nowhere pain. It is discovering something new and remembering some forgotten moment of joy. And once again, it is sharing this thing, the thing we call L-O-V-E.

Thought for The Day - Momentary Value

Linen (in process) 30 x 40 oil

In this case, when I say "momentary," I'm not speaking of temporary or transitional, but those moments when you appreciate something or someone. I don't know about you, but I can be fickle; it's not a matter of not loving or having long lasting appreciation, but it's a matter of having "highs and lows." Behind me, sits a painting titled "Linen," the first in a series (currently working on number two; that will come up for air soon) and certain aspects of the colors and the style of it struck me. I "appreciate" my work, but there are times when I don't "value" my work. I'm thankful for the gift of expression, for the ability to express myself in word and images and so glad I'm back to rendering. But there are times when I take for granted that I'm doing work that is rich and attention worthy.

Believe me, that isn't an easy thing to write. I'm thinking of the reaction of the people who might read it, thinking they will say "that's conceited" or worse "I don't see anything of value." But sometimes you've got to start where you are and appreciate your own work. Now tomorrow, with a little time on my hands, I may look at that same image and see the flaws and consider ways to improve it or what should have done differently. But for now, I appreciate the depth of color and movement - the Momentary Value.

Peace.

The Turn

No one understands where it comes from and of course we don't know where it leads; the turn. Shows up all over the place! You don't have to call for it or request it, though we do. We want our bank accounts fat, our homes 5 bedrooms and 6 baths, and our spouses to understand us. But the turn...

Find yourself staring at the bend in a road especially when you've mapped out "straight ahead" as the preferred direction, and you find yourself anticipating trouble. Sometimes that bend is exactly what was needed, except at the time, it's the turn in our gut that tells us 'no.'

Experience tells us, if we listen, that bends and turns don't come for nothing and often they are exactly on time. Finding yourself wondering as you stare at a turn you didn't anticipate? Hold on, slow down and ride the bend to see what's on the other side.

Peace.

If My Peers are The Standard...

After the Dance

 Competition is a funny thing; it can be subtle, nearly undetectable, like natural gas without the ‘funk’ additive. J It sneaks up on you, especially when your aim is to live your life on your own terms. Not everyone lives with a ‘scarcity mentality,’ that is, a belief that there’s only a short amount of ______ to go around. A classic example from my past is high school and college art courses. In Still Life 1 (too long ago to be sure if that was a title), we came into the classroom and the teacher arranged a boot, a glass vase, a gourd and a plastic apple and orange, on a table. Our assignment was to draw the images. In a classroom with artists skilled in hand-eye coordination, in an hour’s time, they were finished, including shading, highlights and rendering the various textures. But there were other students who, in an hour’s time, were struggling to round the orange, or they somehow had the boot looking like a swatch of cowhide. But there was a third group: the students who were making a valiant effort, with the shining example of the first group as their model. They had erase marks on paper, a look of determination and frustration on their brow, but they were faring “better” than the second group.

And so it goes: competition without really trying. I recall folks showing up with a number 2 pencil and believing that to be sufficient. It was and can be. But when they would see me with my set of pencils with designations from 4H to 4B, a pink pearl eraser and maybe a kneaded eraser; you could see that sense of self-esteem slip a bit. But I wasn’t the standard and truthfully, I was striving to reach the standard others were setting. I watched them, bodies relaxed, yet focused on the task, confidence shining like a silver knight’s armor. I wanted to be one of them.

I’m not sure if it’s the “times” or a movement that seems to be happening “right now,” but for me, my life is ordered by a higher direction. Certainly, I may look at the work of a Serge Kponton, or Matthew Ivan Cherry and think “I wish I could render the way he does,” but most of the time, I hear someone who seems to direct my work in other ways. I am not instructed to “do it just like him or her” but to allow my mind, my body and my soul to receive what is there and to render as He directs. It’s a beautiful thing!

My peers…they aren’t the standard any more. There is one who directs my steps and he is more than a standard; he’s my muse and spirit of abundance.

Clarity’s Call

Clear Channel

 

This is a repeating theme, but as additional definition and shape come forward, I have to share. I’ve looked at the body of my expressive work, the work that some would call abstract. I’ve considered the ‘naming’ process, especially when I think of musicians like Pat Metheny and Bob James, Roy Hargrove and Joshua Redman. That way you contemplate what is being said “here.” Sitting at work with a piece, I search for the message it seems to convey. And clarity comes through.

There are times I see fine details in a painting before I touch brush to canvas. A response, an answer to a problem I didn’t know existed. Clarity. At times, it’s the simple bob of my head to a song I hear adds to the joy experienced in these precious moments. Moments become eternity when things are made clear.

Love guides my hand; it is both a response and a call. Love motivates me to write and give further light to the subject of my renderings. So sacred are these glimpses into eternity, I would be remiss if I didn’t share the Love. So I paint, sometimes I grab a pencil and sketch, or a pastel and allow the intense colors to draw lines from me to God and back again.

My friends, this is my sharing. This is my heart given to you. Allow the light of God to guide you and reshape you.

Open Clarity and Clearer Channels

Clear Channel ~ in process...

What I want and what I need. From a Christian or ‘religious’ perspective, we are often taught to ignore our wants and focus on our needs. We are taught  that we should ensure we focus on our needs and somehow, our wants will either go away or maybe, someday, we’ll get our wants met. “What do you want?” Has that question ever been asked of you? Especially where it’s asked with such emphasis, you have to search your soul and respond with that. Years ago, my previous pastor said he would visit people in the hospital and he would ask the same question of those lying in bed. They would start out: “well, I won’t God to bless me; make me a good person.” And he would stop them, mid-sentence and ask them more emphatically: “WHAT DO YOU WANT?” Of course, now he has their attention and they would say, “I want to get out of this hospital! I want to get well!”

At the moment it doesn’t matter the “whys” and “wherefores” of our misdirected wants; there are times one needs to cry out from the soul “Rescue me!” without worrying about if you’re saying it right or if help might come. Clarity says, in that moment THERE IS AN ANSWER – AND I NEED IT NOW!

The flip side of our extreme moments of clarity is that there is a response. So often, it seems we aren’t heard – I know I’m not the only one who has asked for a SOMETHING and no genie appeared granting my wish. But I also know I’m not the only one, who having cried out from that secret place in one’s soul and received a response of peace and brevity ~ a gentle and quick response that defies the mind to define. A clear channel makes moments into hours and hours into days. Give it thought as you go on your way. Your journey isn’t wasted; take each step and allow the peace to be your companion. Amen.

We have this treasure (Filtered Divinity)

Amazing, it is, that life altering truth comes from the places it does. Our tendency is to assume light, or revelation only comes by way of those who spend long hours, head bowed in contemplation or in books. But truth, spiritual knowledge doesn't have to have a "willing body;" all it takes is a mind, a heart, and a soul, and God's infinite wisdom will find you!

In the above piece, you will note the bands of earth tones, particularly browns, clay and oranges, primarily below. That's us. But wait, what's this breaking through the bottom? Seems like light is interrupting the thick dark tones. Yeah, well that happens around us and to us more often than we know.

It is said that artist transmit the will of the creator. Whether it's singing, writing, acting, or rendering in paint or marble, to the world, we convey 'messages.' But have you ever watched a child at play? Especially children who play with great effort? If you've ever seen one who laughed, twirled, jumped and ran, then you've also noted that they "huff and puff" and sweat like us crotchety adults :) But they are expressing joy without separating play from work. They are creating joy with great effort - rather than waiting to be entertained. God, through them, expresses his joy - for joy's sake.

We have a treasure hidden in are "earthen vessels..."

The Exercise of Art

I remember sitting in a cube a few years ago, frustrated beyond belief, feeling like my life didn’t count for much (His Words was on a hiatus and as far as I was concerned it was a mistake never to be repeated). And I wrote in all caps I WANT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!! Even bolded each word and increased the font size to 24 for emphasis. I needed to make that declaration and if I weren’t such a “proper” gentleman, I would have stood on the top of the desk and screamed it.

What I’ve discovered about painting and drawing is the process and results are like doorways of light. Light illuminates and places emphasis on a subject. Reflecting art over the years, some seemed to speak of chaos or imply a world barely distinguishable. Where I’m employed, there’s no shortage of original artwork and many people have opinions one way or another. What seems to be consistent among those I work with is the expectation that images should be clearly identified; they don’t want to see something that looks like it was done by a 6 year old. But what I know of the exercise, is art reveals what a ‘simple’ mind understands. Not a simple or foolish person but one willing to open their mind to messages not easily discerned. Those are the messages accepted by faith. And faith has a wonderful capability of opening a limitless unclouded world to the faithful!

A few paintings I’ve worked on in the last few months emphasize the contrast of dark vs. light. It is another theme that is being detailed in my life and with time, patience and diligence I will understand it better. I’m sitting here at the moment looking at a blank sheet of newsprint paper. What a wonderful sight! I see so much that the human eye will not and each page allows the same possibilities. It is an exercise in capturing a moment or rendering colors with textures. But more importantly, it is communicating the message of one’s soul.