"I know that's who you think you are, but I need you to be someone else! I don't like when you're that way!"
Family and well meaning friends often make requests: "Can you change your identity? Who you are rubs me wrong. I want you around but only if you change this, this and oh, by all means, change that!" We experience this in employment and in neighborhoods, people give you a cold shoulder when your personality doesn't match the status quo. We are given the impression that if you don't tow the line, you are an outsider. It's no wonder people don't disappear into the darkness of the arctic for trying to fit in.
I'm sure "their" intentions are well meaning; they want to be comfortable around you and want others to feel the same. But the path to "mutual comfort" should begin with acceptance. And above all, the ruling motive should be love. Too often, we aren't tall enough, thin enough, we are the wrong race or too "cultural" in our persona. As a result, we don't fit the environment, and the "environment" stands on the verge of spewing us out.
But it's okay they we don't fit in. As a matter of fact, I think it's correct to be yourself. Those that 'fit in' are the ones who are invisible and the greatest collaboration occurs when people agree to bring their unique views to the table. No, by all means, don't fit in; don't conform. By all means, be you!
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