The above picture was posted to a couple of my social network sites, the other day and with the caption: "this is an empty palette; this ends tonight!" Well, in classic Eddie Hudson fashion, it didn't. I can blame a long day, my knee injury and a bunch of other factors, but the fact is it didn't end that night. Oh it came to an end, I put paint on the palette, even applied most of that paint to the current work and applied more paint, but this struggle is real, and it's with M-E!!!
But it occurs to me, while I'm not where I think I should be, it's much further than 5 years ago. Five years ago, I was in a Master's program for counseling, another one of my 'hats' I wear. I was intent on helping people by listening, glad to transition from one area to another. But there were moments when I questioned if this was the right move. Back in 1998, having begun life as a IT contractor, earning more money and now able to get into companies I only dreamed of. On my way home from work today, the idea came to mind "where do you want to be in ten years?" I said out loud: "in ten years I want to be in my studio painting!" I got excited about that idea and since ten years seemed so far away, I could push off planning for that eventual day. But the discomfort I felt in my soul for the next ten years told me, I should have been working for that day as actively as I plan out my work day.
Well it's much later than 10 years from 1998, and I'm not where I would like to be in the daily practice of rendering, but I'm so glad I responded when the time was right! And yes, slowly but surely "I'm getting it together!"
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